A Little Bit Wild (York Family 1)

But she took comfort in the way his pen dropped from his fingers when he saw her standing there. "Marissa."

"I don't want you to leave," she blurted.

"Pardon?"

Marissa shut the door behind her, realizing that even with all her worrying, she still had no plan for what to say. "I don't want you to leave," she repeated, unable to find any other words.

"I can't stay here forever, Marissa."

"But you'd planned to. You were looking for a house. You meant to stay a long while!"

He stared at her as if he couldn't quite make out her voice.

"You meant to stay, and now you say you're not angry with me, and yet you're still leaving."

"You were right. It's better if I go."

"Why?"

He turned back to the letters on the desk and spread his hands wide over them. His shoulders rose with a deep, slow breath, then slumped when he exhaled. "What do you want from me, Marissa? We've said our good-byes."

"What if..." Her pulse sped to an impossible rhythm. "What if I say I've reconsidered the plan?"

"What plan?" The words

were tight with impatience. He wanted her to leave. She took three steps farther into the room.

"The plan. My plan. Your idea was much better, I think, to treat our courtship as a true betrothal. Can we not simply go back to that?"

"Marissa ..." He dropped his head into his hands and buried his fingers in his hair. "I do not have the will to puzzle this out tonight. I'm exhausted."

"But you will leave in the morning, and then... then it will be too late."

"Too late for what?"

It was easier to approach him when he wasn't watching her. Marissa crossed his room and watched his shoulders tighten as she neared him. But he didn't look toward her. He simply steeled himself, as if he were waiting for a blow.

"Too late for me to apologize. I—"

"You already apologized, and I said I was sorry as well. Can we not—"

"But," she interrupted, "I haven't apologized for how stupid I've been. How blind. Jude, I don't want you to go." She dared to put her hands on his shoulders. "Stay."

His head lowered a bit. As if she had defeated him. "To what end? Your games have grown too dangerous. I wasn't trying to tempt you to indiscretion. I was trying to ..."

She slid her hand up. He wore no cravat or coat, so the skin of his neck was bare to her. He was so warm. Nearly feverish. She curled her fingers to the shape of his muscles. "Trying to what?" she whispered.

Jude shook his head.

She could not resent that. She'd been trying to coax him, but she was the one who'd come to say her peace.

"Jude? I want ... I want you to stay because I think I'm in love with you."

She felt the flinch of his muscles as if they were her own, but when he spoke, his voice carried not a hint of emotion. "You're wrong."

"I'm not."

"You decided you might love me now, because the drama has passed and I'm leaving. That's the only reason."