Marriage of Unconvenience

I HATED WAKING CARA up when we got to the house, but I wasn’t in a state to carry her upstairs with my noodle arms. She groaned and fussed and complained and was totally adorable the whole time so I wasn’t even mad. I shoved her into bed and she fussed when I tried to tell her that she had to take the dress and her makeup off.

“You have to take it off or it will clog your pores and then you’ll be upset. Just roll over and let me wipe your face, you goof.” She moaned and flipped onto her back. I attacked her face with wipes as she giggled and batted at me.

“Just... stop, Care!” I scrubbed at her eyes and she whined, but I got most of it off. Now it was time for the dress.

“Roll over again. I need to get your zipper,” I said. She pouted, but did it, and I pulled the zipper down.

“Now you have to sit up so I can get it off.”

“This is too many steps,” she said, but she sat up, holding her arms out so I could pull the straps off her arms. I tried not to look as she pushed the dress down off her hips and then kicked it off her feet.

“I’m going to hang this up so it doesn’t end up crumpled on the floor,” I said as she wrapped herself up in my blankets like a burrito. I hung the dress up and then pulled my skirt off. I tried to get the zipper for my top down, but it was too far up my back for me to reach.

“Care, a little help?” A pile of blankets on my bed made a grumpy sound and then her head emerged, her eyes half-closed.

“Huh?”

“Can you help me with the zipper? That’s it, I promise. Then you can go back to sleep.” She huffed and puffed, but her fingers found the zipper and started pulling it down. Really slow. She stopped halfway down, and I looked over my shoulder at her.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, but her eyes were glazed over. She was just staring at my back.

“Yeah,” she said in a faraway voice before blinking and yanking the zipper the rest of the way down.

“Careful,” I said, hoping she hadn’t harmed the delicate lace. I slipped the sleeves off and stood up in just my bra and panties.

Cara wasn’t going back to sleep. Cara was wide awake and staring.

I pretended not to notice. Maybe she was staring off into space or had checked out or something. Perhaps this was some high-level exhaustion.

I pulled on a long t-shirt and yanked it over my hips, not looking at Cara. I turned off the lights without asking her and got into bed.

“I’m so tired,” I said, hoping she would get the hint that that meant I didn’t want to talk and I just wanted to go to sleep and not think about the way she’d kissed me and the way she had been looking at me, not just now, but all day.

“Me too,” she said in that same faraway voice.

“Happy wedding night,” I said, trying to make a joke. Neither of us was getting laid, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t uncommon for a lot of other people. You were so exhausted from everything that sex was probably the last thing on either of your minds. Made complete sense.

“Happy wedding night,” Cara said, snuggling back down under the blankets. She let go of some of them so I could have some.

I lay on my back in the dark. Five seconds ago, I’d been so tired I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up and now my brain was running a marathon in circles inside my skull.

Cara made some noises beside me and turned her back to me. She was right there, but a million miles away. A little crack of the curtains let in a sliver of moonlight that caressed her back. I tried not looking, but I couldn’t help myself. She was simply gorgeous. I’d never seen anyone as beautiful as Cara, and I never would. I knew other people might not think she was the prettiest girl in the world, but I did, and always would.

I shifted onto my side so if I moved a little closer we would be spooning. We had slept that way before by accident. So why was I so scared to touch her? It was like those other nights when she’d slept over and I’d been afraid.

No, it wasn’t fear, exactly. It had a sharp edge of something else beyond fear. I pushed myself away from her. As far as I could get without falling off the bed. My head was getting confused and I needed to shut that shit down. This was Cara, my best friend in the whole world and my love for her was strictly a friendship love. Best friendship. Nothing romantic. Never had been. I’d been all about doing this wedding thing and now it was biting me in the ass.