Alpha Erased (Alpha Girl 9)

br /> I’d been lost. Building this house—and then filling it—gave me a tangible thing to do when I was incapable of doing anything else.

It’d brought me peace. Every time I hammered in a nail or polished a piece of wood or painted a wall, I thought of Tessa. Of how she would love this. How I was doing it for her. How this wasn’t a waste of my time to build her this home because, at some point, she would come home.

She had to come home.

By the time I finished, she would be here.

But now it’s done, and she still wasn’t here.

“Dastien?” Claudia’s brows were furrowed as she stepped toward me.

I saw that Lucas and Axel were now standing beside her, and I knew I must’ve missed something. “Yes?”

“I asked how you were doing today.”

I threw the dish towel onto the counter. “The house is done,” I said because I wasn’t sure how I was doing anymore. I was getting by. Surviving. But I felt like half of myself was gone. Sometimes I would be angry. Other times I felt like tearing something apart. I spent weeks at a time as a wolf with Michael and Axel.

But I was alive. That was that.

I didn’t want to say any of that aloud. I didn’t want to offend them. They’d been patient and kind and tireless with helping me try to find Tessa before they’d called it quits. So, I changed the subject.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I motioned toward the fridge. “Or to eat. We just had sandwiches, and I could easily—”

“Dastien.” Claudia drew the word out. “I feel like you didn’t know we were coming. Are you ready to go?”

“Go?” I reached inside the fridge, grabbing a sparkling water for Claudia. She hadn’t said she was thirsty, but that’s what she usually liked. I turned to her, holding out the bottle. “You want me to go? To Peru? I was just thinking of traveling. I could maybe stop by there, but I think I’m just going to wander and—”

She didn’t take the bottle. “You’re scaring me. It’s not healthy for you to—”

I slammed it on the counter, and the plastic cracked. Water started fizzing out the side. I tossed it in the sink and grabbed some paper towels.

“It wasn’t healthy for me to get updates.” I wiped up the bit of water that spilled, grateful that the bottle wasn’t glass. “So I’m in the dark. I understand and even agree with that. When I lost it the last time, I understood why it had to be that way. But I guess I’m not fit for company.” I threw the soggy paper towels in the trash, leaned back against the counter, and crossed my arms. “Thank you for the offer. I’ll stop by at some point. So, are you two heading back already? Even though you just got here?”

“Dastien.” She stepped toward me, reaching out a shaking hand but dropping it before she touched me. “We’ve talked on the phone twice this week. We talked about you coming to visit us in Peru. You wouldn’t agree, but that’s why we’re here. To pick you up. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to stay here now that the house is done, especially if you’re losing track of time again. Do you remember talking about that?”

I looked at her to see if she was messing with me, but clearly, she wasn’t.

Merde. I was worse off than I thought. I had zero memory of talking to her.

I looked at Axel. “I talked to her?”

Axel shrugged. “I’ve been out with Michael a few times. You might have.”

Wow. I had no idea I’d… Was I fading again? I didn’t think so, but I also didn’t remember talking to her. Claudia wasn’t lying, so I had to be wrong about this. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to go with you to Peru. Maybe later, but not yet. I—”

“What if you came just for a little while? A few weeks could really make a difference to your—”

I looked at Lucas. “If it were your mate?”

“I’m old. You can’t give an old and powerful wolf someone to love and then take them away. It doesn’t work out well. I wouldn’t have survived this long.” He nodded. “You’re doing better than I would be. If you want to stay, then stay. Just…be careful. If your wolf takes control, I don’t want to have to go hunting.”

Fair enough. “See.” I looked at Claudia. “I’m doing fine.”

“He didn’t say that. You’re not doing fine.” She was starting to lose her temper, but for Claudia, that meant raising her voice by five decibels. “You don’t remember talking to me. You—”

Her phone rang—playing one of Mozart’s concertos—and she threw her small bag on the counter, quickly digging through it.

“Sorry. That’s Samantha. She never calls me, and if I don’t take it, I don’t think she’ll answer my call. She’s impossible to get ahold of.” She grabbed her phone. “Samantha. Is everything okay?”