Alpha Erased (Alpha Girl 9)

“Feed her.”

“I wish I’d thought of that, Cosette!” I screamed at her, not caring about being civil anymore.

“Well, then, what do you want me to say?” She screamed back at me, and I knew I’d lost it.

“I don’t know,” I said, much softer this time. “But I can’t be around her all the time, shoving food at her. Not if I’m supposed to take this slow and make her fall in love with me and everything else. I’m scared that I’m too late already, and I…” I needed to know that what I was doing would work.

But no one could tell me that. Not even Cosette.

“I—” There was a rustling noise, cutting off whatever she was going to say.

“Hey.” Chris’s raspy voice came through the phone. “You kept away after she first changed, but Tessa had a real problem getting enough to eat. She kept thinking that her stomach couldn’t physically hold more. It was tough for her to let go of eating like a human. So, we stayed on her. I followed her with sandwiches and shoved food in her locker in between classes. At mealtimes, we all piled more food on her plate—more than what she originally served herself. Meredith got a fridge for her room—”

“I remember that.” I’d forgotten that she had a fridge in her room. It was weird because that wasn’t standard. There was plenty of food around, especially in the common room of the dorm.

“It took all of us to make sure she stayed healthy that first week.”

As I waited at the next crosswalk, I wondered if it really could be that easy. “And now she doesn’t have that.”

“I’m saying she hasn’t had that for over a year. If you round up, it’s been nearly two years.” Chris sounded as stressed out as I was about that. “How thin is she?”

I closed my eyes to picture what I’d seen. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was nearly translucent. Her cheekbones were too sharp, giving her cheeks this sunken hollow look. I couldn’t see under her clothes, but I’d bet my life that if I did, I’d be able to see every rib, every knob on her spine, every joint protruding.

“I’ve never seen someone that was literally skin and bones and nothing else. I always thought that was an overly dramatic description of a thin person, but there’s no meat or fat on her that I could see.” I was so afraid I thought I might throw up. “It’s bad, Chris. It’s really bad. I’m terrified that I’m too late.”

He was quiet, and I knew he had to be taking the news hard. Not as hard as I was, but nearly.

“And you know the really fucked up thing?”

“What?” He sounded like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but I had to tell him. I needed someone to talk to.

“I wouldn’t have noticed. I was just so glad to see her—that I didn’t really see the rest. Not until I heard her stomach growl.” The memory of it made my skin grow cold. “I’ve never heard her stomach growl like that, and…” This was the part that really scared me. “I think this is a little like what happened to Meredith. I think her wolf has been keeping her alive this long, but it’s paying the price. This has been killing her wolf slowly. We’ve got days. If that. What do I do? I push her, and the magic kills her. If I don’t, she could still die.”

They were quiet.

I started walking faster to keep myself from shifting because in that moment, I wished part of me could disappear into my other form. “Someone. Please. Tell me what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can fix this.” There was a panicked edge to my voice, but I couldn’t stop it now. The panic was back and stronger than before, and it was like my lungs weren’t working right. I just couldn’t get enough air. There wasn’t enough air. I—

“Okay.” Chris took a breath. “Okay. We’re coming.”

“What?” I was relieved and grateful. “Are you sure?” I had to ask, even if I wanted the help. “You just got back to Texas.”

“And now we’re going to LA again.” Chris sighed. “Look. You need a wingman. And if there’s a girl there, she’ll feel more comfortable. You’ll also feel better with us there. You’re not yourself, dude. You’re just not. Your wolf is unstable, and your confidence has been shot to shit. You’ve been without the support of a pack for way too long. We should never have left you in LA alone. It went against everyone’s instinct to leave you there. So, Cosette and I are coming back. We’ll make Van take us, which will save some time. Might take Cosette a minute to find him, but we’re coming.”

“Thank you.” I wanted to cry with gratitude. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to do this alone. There was too much on the line. “Seriously. Just—”

“We shouldn’t have left,” Chris said each word carefully, clearly, so that I knew he meant them. “We thought that it’d be easier with ju

st you there and no one else to take her attention away from you, but we didn’t realize her life was on the line like it is. It was our bad.” He was quiet. “When do you see her again? Where is she now? What—”

“The Wayfarers are watching her. She went to go retake a test, and I’m running so I don’t completely lose it. She’s coming over after for dinner.” I tried to let that calm me. I was seeing her again soon. “I convinced her to come for dinner.”

“Great. That’s fucking awesome.” He let out a breath. “Okay. See. You’re doing great. You’re doing a great job, man.”

“Am I?” I dropped my chin to my chest as I slowed my steps on the sidewalk. I needed to know I was making the right call. I needed someone to tell me that I was doing okay. That I could do this.

“Yes. You’re doing a great job, Dastien. What time is she coming over?”

“I didn’t want to spook her, so I kept it casual. I said six or seven, but I told her to come over sooner if she was hungry. That I’d be there.”