Drip Drop Teardrop

Understanding crashed over her in mammoth, terrifying waves, pulling her under. She couldn’t swim these waters. “No!” she whisper-shouted. “You’re not getting her!”

“Avery-”

“No! I know what you are!” Tears cascaded down her cheeks. “I know,” she sobbed, trying to catch her breath. “And you’re not getting her. I’m not ready yet!”

>“Nah,” Sarah replied, “I’m just glad he left. You didn’t give him your number, did you?”

Avery shook her head, refusing to acknowledge what felt like a twang of disappointment in her chest.

“Oh my God, Ave!” Jemima squealed gesticulating wildly in her JD infused haze. “You should have got his digits! He may be creepy ass but there’s something kinda sexy about the idea of doing it with him! I’d bet he’d be super grateful, if you know what I mean!”

Avery grimaced at all the squealing in the cramped cab. “Can you make it stop?” She pleaded with Sarah, gesturing to Jemima.

“Yeah, can you?” The cabbie groaned.

Sarah giggled and patted Jemima’s arm. “Jammy, babe, you wanna lower the tone a little huh? You’re deafening children in Africa.”

“Pfft!” She waved them off before promptly thumping her head back against the seat, her eyes slamming shut.

“Wow,” Avery whispered, “You’re like a witch or something.”

Sarah giggled again and then began telling her to ignore Jemima. There was nothing sexy about some built stalker guy who has a knife slash across half his face.

Avery was so thankful when the cabbie pulled up outside her apartment. She needed to get away from all the lecturing and questions. She needed to get away from thinking about that weird guy and the way he made her feel. Like she wasn’t who she thought she was. Like she was meant for something else. God, was there anything more traumatising than an identity crisis? Yeah, no, she definitely didn’t need that right now.

As per usual she offered Sarah some money for their expensive cab trip but Sarah shook her head adamantly. Too tired to argue, Avery said goodbye and hurried up to her apartment.

“Avery, that you?” Her aunt’s soft voice called to her as she moved around the sitting room, kicking off her heels and stretching her feet out flat against the cold wooden floors.

“Ahh, that feels good,” she murmured before hurrying into her aunt’s room. Her Aunt Caroline was still awake, her book opened on her lap. “You can’t sleep?”

“I wanted to see if you had a good night.” She smiled softly at her.

Avery clucked her tongue reprovingly. “Aunt Caroline, you should be asleep.”

“Did you have a good time?”

At which part? She felt like asking. The part where I told off my ex-boyfriend or the part where I slow danced with the ugliest, sexy guy I’ve ever met?

“Yeah, I had a good time.”

“Did you dance?”

She grinned. “Of course. You know I love to dance.”

Cold Breeze Cutting Through

the Summer Air

The following month wasn’t a great one. Aunt Caroline underwent another round of palliative chemo and spent the next few days suffering from severe fatigue. Avery stayed home from work so they lost more income. That didn’t matter so much as how strange Aunt Caroline was starting to look, kind of bloated as well as emaciated at the same time, if that were even possible.

When she was starting to feel a little stronger her aunt told the doctors she wasn’t going to have any more chemo. They didn’t argue with her. Avery wanted to but it was selfish to ask Aunt Caroline to go through the ordeal of it all just so she wouldn’t have to live without her for an extra couple of months.

Weirdly the decision seemed to put a spring in Caroline’s step. Finally facing the cancer, facing the inevitably of her death, had lifted a weight off her shoulders and the last week of the month she had been strong enough to go to the market – they’d even gone to a movie together. She was exhausted afterwards but there was colour in her cheeks again.

Nightclub night came around as quickly as it always did and for once Avery wasn’t as worried about her aunt. Her friend, Stacey, from Greener World Magazine had come over with some wine and Caroline had said “to hell with it” and was forgoing her meds to have some. She was a grown woman. Avery wasn’t going to argue with her. She left the two of them giggling at the television in the sitting room and ventured out to find Sarah waiting for her. Jemima had a modelling job the next day and was on a 24 hour fast because of it - it involved no alcohol and an early night in bed. Josh still wasn’t talking to her, and Aaron and Adam were on a double date with a brother and sister (Avery refused to get into their complicated dating life), so it was just her and Sarah tonight. Avery didn’t mind. Sarah was the only one who seemed to be as addicted to the dance floor anyway.

They hopped in a cab, Avery thankful she’d worn skinny jeans and a leather jacket tonight, considering the bitter wind blowing in from the north east. They were early so there wasn’t much of a line outside and it wasn’t long until they were inside 4.0 sipping mojitos at a table in the corner. As soon as Jennifer Lopez’s On the Floor came on Avery was shrugging out of her jacket and dragging Sarah up to dance. Like always, she was lost, carelessly dancing with random guys and girls who were enjoying the beat as much as she was. But somehow as the hours crept along she began to miss something. And then she choked, coming to a stop when she realised what it was. There was no familiar prickling sensation tonight. She spun around, searching the crowds and the club for tall, dark scarred guy - the tall, dark scarred guy she was afraid to admit had crossed her mind more often than he should have this past month. Huh. He wasn’t here tonight.