Drip Drop Teardrop
A bucket of cold water. Like an unexpected slap to the face. She felt that jerk of shock slam her organs against her bones. “You bastard,” she whispered hoarsely.
He shrugged numbly. “I’d do anything to keep you.”
“What about our deal? You said if I stayed the week you wouldn’t take her before her time.”
“I lied.” His eyes were like ice chips. “Your choice. Me or her?”
She glared at him. “I choose her.”
The room spun around on her and she reached out, thinking it a fainting spell. Sick rushed up her throat in an acidic soup and she collapsed to the ground, vomiting up on the hardwood floor.
Wait. Hardwood? The bedroom was carpeted.
Avery raised her head and gazed around the room. It was her and Aunt Caroline’s sitting room. She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt.
He’d sent her back. Without saying goodbye.
***
True to Brennus’ word, Aunt Caroline had no memory of Avery being gone. Neither had Sarah or Jemima. Life quickly returned to normal. Well, as normal as it could be. Her aunt didn’t rapidly deteriorate, although Avery waited on tenterhooks for Brennus to make good on his promise. Every day he didn’t, she began to hate him a little less.
When a month passed and still no change, it crossed Avery’s mind that he may have lied. Was it just a desperate ruse to try and get her to stay? She wasn’t sure. There was a ruthless aspect to Brennus when it came to her. She had seen it that first night. She wasn’t sure that was a lie.
She hated that he crossed her mind every day. That when she lay in bed at night, she could still feel the press of his body against hers. She grieved for him. But Caroline would never have chosen someone like him for Avery. And Caroline always made the right choice.
Sometimes it was hard to remind herself of that fact. Like that first night out at 4.0. Avery had searched the crowds for him, praying she would see his severe face in the crowds. But he didn’t show.
Caroline asked her constantly if she was alright and that just tripled her guilt because the last thing she wanted was Caroline worrying about her on top of everything else. Then Caroline had brought up funeral plans and Avery had freaked out, shouting incoherent nonsense before slamming out of the apartment. When she returned later that day neither of them said a word and Avery seethed on her own shame.
As the weeks moved into the second month, she felt like she was being haunted. She would be standing in the DVD rental store and she’d catch a whiff of this beautiful spicy, earthy smell that reminded her of Brennus. She’d look around to see if he was there but there no one. And then she’d sniff the air again and the scent was gone. It became an obsession; every journal page filled with descriptions of him. Finally, she started doing some research, looking up whatever she could on the Ankou. There was an astonishing amount of information on the web and in the library, and she locked it all inside her hoping…
Hoping what? That it would somehow make her stop loving him?
She admitted it only that once and then pretended it had never happened.
Caroline had taken to sleeping longer in the mornings. The rain lashing against the windows outside were kind of a lullaby and Avery drew her aunt’s door closed, wishing she could keep her there forever. The apartment was cold, damp. Avery made herself some herbal tea and, feeling maudlin - but what was new, right - she pulled out Aunt Caroline’s photo albums and snuggled onto the sofa with a blanket. She’d chosen the album of all the photos when Caroline was younger. There were ones at college; the kind of photos that made you long for your own college experience. Somehow it was never quite as great as the photos made it seem. Caroline had had so many friends though. There were photos of her with a couple different guys over the years; all cute, sporty types. Avery’s hands trembled over the pictures of her aunt rock climbing. Biking. Rollerblading. Playing baseball. Ice skating at the Rockefeller Center. She was like an advertising campaign for LIFE.
Her chest tightened and Avery struggled to draw breath. She clutched at her t-shirt and gulped at the air, tears streaming down her face.
“Baby,” her Aunt Caroline’s soft voice called from behind her, but she couldn’t turn around. She felt her aunt’s warm body ease next to hers, her safe arms coming around her. Like a panicked dog abandoned at the side of the road, Avery pleaded with her aunt with her eyes. Caroline brushed her hair off her face. “Breathe, baby, breathe.”
She sucked in a deep lungful of air and the inhalation caught on a sob. She allowed herself to be pulled into her aunt’s chest and she soaked her with tears; an entire season’s worth of rainfall that had been weighing down the clouds for quite some time.
It’s Not Murder
it’s an Act of Faith
There was relief in admitting her grief to her Aunt Caroline. It was what Caroline needed from her, so she gave it. Somehow Avery managed to get through the funeral talks and financial discussions, holding herself together by the tips of her tremulous fingers.
It was weird… but she felt closer to her aunt than ever.
That was why, on club night, as Caroline watched Avery get ready from her perch on the sofa, her blankets all around her, the latest Charlaine Harris book in her lap, Avery unconsciously let her obsession take to the fore.
“Aunt Caroline?” She asked hesitantly as she pulled on some bangles.
“Mmmhmm?”