Under His Influence (Love Under Lockdown)

Both the music and the look of pure joy it put on Seth’s handsome face were beautiful. He had found his next band, and it hadn’t even taken a day’s worth of work. I had a feeling I was really going to love this internship, even more than I thought I would.

The small fleet of taxis was waiting outside afterwards. After loading Sven and the AGAB boys in a cab a piece, we headed to our respective vehicles.

I was dizzy with the scent of him as I stumbled into my dark apartment, despite not drinking a drop. He was clear about not pushing it on anyone, but if tea-totaling was part of Seth’s process, I figured it was at least worth a try for me. And there was really no arguing with the results. I felt exhilarated, like I was on a natural high.

After shedding my clothes layer by layer, leaving a trail leading back to the living room, I ended up naked by the time I got to my bathroom. Snapping my fingers in remembrance, like I was a character in a cartoon, I scurried to my room, as fast as my jelly legs would carry me, and returned with my treasure.

It was my small CD stereo, one of the ones with a handle for carrying, popular in in the early 2000s, and it was loaded with the last Autumn Corrosion album. I’d gotten lucky, the record instantly becoming a collector’s item, particularly on vinyl. A first pressing could bring in over $1,000 online. The CDs weren’t much cheaper.

My own copy was gifted to me by my dad when I’d shown an interest and he was trying to being encouraging. It was in his will, anyway; I’d just gotten it a bit early.

Setting the player on the counter, well out of harm’s way, I started the CD spinning, putting it on repeat, just in case I fell asleep, and drew a warm bubble bath to soak away the remains of the day.

I still couldn’t believe my good fortune, and I was determined to bask in it for as long as I could.

Chapter Four - Seth

It was an interesting sensation. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually been in bed. At least not to sleep. It wasn’t something I did often. Not by intention so much as by consequence.

The siren call of ‘just one more thing’ frequently lured me to other parts of the house, where I tended to be when the need for sleep outpaced even my work ethic. In my chair, on the couch, in the tub, on one memorable occasion with my head in the sink— there was no telling where consciousness might kick in next.

Part of the problem with traditional slumber, apart from the creepy feeling of surrendering yourself to the void, was how terribly difficult it could be to fully rouse from it. Beds were designed to be as comfortable as possible, adesign flaw which could make the sleeper resistant to fully engaging with the waking world.

I would have to psych myself out. But finally, I convinced myself to roll out of bed, the sudden meeting with the cold floor bringing me the rest of the way awake. Then I zombie-walked to the bathroom, my stiff legs only vaguely cooperating with the dictates of my tyrannical brain.

She never really left. At least not in spirit. The engine might have started, the red eyes of the taillights disappearing into the dark of night, but Jonna still remained in my heart and my mind. I felt like we’d made a connection over the past couple of days, but I also knew that I needed to be careful.

We were both adults and it shouldn’t matter but it still did. I was technically in a position of power, making anything more than a strict business relationship questionable, at least to some people’s narrow and suspicious minds. Even taking her to the Loki’s Laugh gig was risking gossip and danger.

The only thing making it clearly not a date, other than the fact that it was strictly business related, was the presence of Sven and the AGAB guys. I wasn’t entirely versed on modern dating rituals, but I was pretty sure that courting didn’t tend to happen in groups.

Even so, I was careful to never be alone with her, always leaving my office door open when we were together, with Holly just down the hall, and I never made any sort of contact, even accidentally, no matter how much my spirit might call out for her touch.

I wanted Jonna, no doubt about that, needed her, even, but the choice between being with her and continuing running the label was not a clear-cut one. Especially when I wasn’t sure she felt the same way.

I told myself not to think about her too much, focusing instead on cooking myself some breakfast before my work-out. My house was bigger on the inside, or at least I liked to joke that it was. Despite its relatively modest size, the place I called home had a lot of rooms, ranging in size from tiny to huge, and I tried to make the most of it.