Autumn Night Whiskey (Tequila Rose 2)

“I’m not saying goodbye … you’re my—” I almost say “best friend,” but I stop myself short. It’s more than that, or different.

“I’m just sorry and I wish we could go back. You know that I love you, don’t you?”

There are different kinds of love. I know that all too well. The way I love him and the way I love Renee compared to the way I love Bridget … it’s all different, but it’s still love.

“I do, and I love you, Robert. I love you so much—” In an instant he leans forward, his arms pulling me close as he slips off the chair and lands on his knees in front of me. His fingers grip the curves of my waist, his touch hot and desperate, yet somehow steadying me. He rests his forehead against mine with his eyes closed, and I’m trapped in this moment.

There’s a moment of time before he kisses me, a moment where I know I could stop him, a moment where I know he’s waiting for approval … it’s the moment I lean forward, closing my own eyes and welcoming the familiar comfort to ease our pain. My lips mold against his and when he sweeps his tongue across the seam of my lips, I part them, granting him entry. Shifting forward, he pulls me in closer and my hands land against his strong shoulders to keep me steady. It’s something I’m used to, yet somehow it feels new and unexpected. His touch is tender as his hands splay against my back and the swell of my breasts press against his hard chest.

He deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping against mine in passionate stokes. The groan that escapes him is full of hunger and instantly my nipples pebble, my core heats and I want him. I’d be a liar if I said otherwise. Heat consumes me instantly, so I pull back, needing to breathe in cooler air. Leaving an openmouthed kiss on my neck, he drags his teeth down my skin and it brings me to the edge of need.

His hands drop down to my thighs, his fingers running along the hem before he pulls back and I lower my gaze to his. The first boy I loved and gave myself to, the man who’s held me up when I couldn’t stand, and the lover I’ve kept for years looks back at me longingly.

“I love you, Magnolia,” he whispers.

Reality slips its way in, only a fraction, but it’s enough to push the words out, words that he needs to know.

“I slept with him.” Swallowing thickly, I tell him again, “I slept with Brody.”

A moment passes and I’m not certain Robert’s heard me. “He wants to see me tomorrow … after the gala at the after-party.”

The cords in his neck tighten as he swallows. It’s his only reaction as my heart races, slamming in protest with each harsh beat.

“That’s okay,” he finally responds just above a murmur. “It’s complicated, but,” he licks his lower lip, his tone calm and accepting, “that’s okay,” he repeats. I don’t expect him to kiss me again, let alone to whisper at the shell of my ear, “Sleep with him, do whatever you want with him. But tell me if he does something you like. I’ll do it better and when I’m done with you, you’ll forget all about him.”

The chill of the air caresses my neck in the absence of his heat as he pulls away. One beat and then another passes with his gaze focused on me, trapping me and tempting me. The intensity is all too much.

“I don’t want to go anywhere without you, Mags.” His baby blues drop to my lips before meeting my eyes again and he adds, “I don’t want to lose you.”

There’s a spark inside of me that’s always been his. It’ll never die and it rages with need and understanding when he leans forward for another kiss. Robert pauses, brushing the tip of his nose against mine. “Please, let me love you.”

With memories and promises, with everything we’ve been through clouding my judgment as much as lust is, I lean forward, silencing him and crush my lips against his.

His fingertips are careful and gentle as they brush against my thighs, slipping the thin fabric of my nightshirt up higher.

I inhale a deep breath, my head falling back, and submit to what feels right in this moment. Even if it also feels wrong.

His lips trail down my neck as my nails scratch down his back, wanting his shirt off, needing to feel his skin against mine. My body knows his and as he lays me down on the sofa, everything feels right and need takes over. It’s a desperate need to know how we feel together that fuels the fire.

My neck arches and for a moment, I have a glimpse at what happens next. What happens after this moment is only a memory, and my heart shatters. My lips desperately seek his to keep the thought at bay, but for a moment I felt the pain strike me in an instant.