Letting You Go (Stone Lake 1)

“We never really started to begin with. Besides, what do you care? Aren’t you leaving after graduation?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And I’m not.”

“You’ll be going to college.”

“A community college. I don’t really want to leave Stone Lake, Gavin. I never have. I don’t have a reason to.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her to let me be the reason. God. What would it be like to have Luna in my corner, to have her with me when I leave here? What would it be like knowing that everything I do, I’m doing for her? I could make her happy, I know I could.

This past ten months without having contact with her, have been hell. Watching her from a distance, seeing her in town and hiding so she didn’t think I was stalking her—which I was—all while knowing what it felt like to hold her in my arms, to have her smiles and laughter—if only for one night—has nearly destroyed me. Watching Atticus still being in her life, after the pain he caused her, was worse.

“There’s a whole school year between now and then, maybe we could start over,” I tell her, laying it out and those words feel like they’re torn out of my chest, but if anyone deserves honesty from me, deserves to have me expose how I really feel, it’s Luna.

“I don’t understand.”

“I want you in my life, Luna.”

“You didn’t before.”

“I did. There are things that you don’t understand, and I’ll tell you, one day. For now, I’m asking you to give me a chance to prove that I might be an asshole, but I’m not the kind of one you think I am.”

“That literally makes zero sense,” she says, studying my face closely. I let her, knowing that I’ll never get another chance. This is it.

All or nothing.

“I want time with you, Luna. That’s about as much sense as I can make. That’s all I got.”

“I…”

My heart kicks in my chest. I don’t know why, but she’s weakening. I see it in her face. I hear it in her voice. My mouth goes dry, because I know that this is one of the most important moments in my life.

“I’ve wanted to ask you to dance with me all night, Luna. Will you dance with me now?” I ask her, holding out my hand.

“There’s no music.” Her voice is so soft it feels like she’s touching me.

“We can make our own,” I tell her, and it feels like I’m holding my breath as she slowly puts her hand in mine and I pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her.

We sway against the backdrop of crickets and other sounds of the night, and I can’t remember a thing in my life that has felt as special.

Chapter Fifteen

Luna

You can call me crazy. That’s nothing compared to the names I’m calling myself. After what he did, the last thing I should do is give Gavin Lodge the time of day. I can’t explain why I am. If I’m honest, it’s because I want to. The night we shared out on the dock has haunted me. It’s haunted me because I think that night, I got a glimpse of the real Gavin. The side he doesn’t let anyone see. Maybe I’m fooling myself, and completely wrong. Maybe I’m even lying to myself because I want Gavin to be the person I’ve always imagined and dreamed he was.

Maybe I’m a fool.

The only thing I know for sure is that I’ve been miserable since the day Gavin and Larry got into that fight. Pushing all thoughts of Gavin from my mind has failed to work, too. There’s one other thing that I know. As I lay my head against Gavin’s chest, hear his heart beating in my ear, and feel his arms close around me, I know that this is where I am meant to be.

This is it.

Gavin is the one I’ve been waiting my whole life for.

“Damn,” he hisses. His voice is raw and gravely and hearing it, goosebumps spread over my skin.

“What is it?”

“I just never thought I’d have you in my arms again, Luna, and I can’t tell you how much that thought has hurt me.”

“I didn’t think anything about me could hurt you, Gavin.”

He pulls back and looks down at me. His hand slides against the side of my neck and his thumb comes up and brushes along my jawline as he studies me. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I know there’s something going on in his head. I wish I could read him better to know.

“I have a feeling Luna Marshall, you can hurt me more than anyone.”

“I would never hurt you, Gavin. Never,” I vow, because I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I’m not that kind of person, but more than that Gavin is special to me. I never want to hurt him.