Letting You Go (Stone Lake 1)

“How long, Luna?”

“Gavin—”

“How much longer do you want me to live in a town that hates me, bumming a couch from my buddy because I don’t have a place to live, and hide the fact that I’m in love with you and all while waiting for some miracle to happen and your parents magically accept me.”

“Gavin, don’t you see—”

“All I see is that you’re dreaming. Nothing is going to change by staying in Stone Lake.”

“If we leave, my parents will have you arrested!”

“So? I survived once, I’ll survive again. They can’t keep me locked up. You’re eighteen, it will be bogus charges.”

“Maybe, but you will still have a record and we did start dating when I was underage.”

“Everyone dates young. You’re just letting your fear get in your head.”

“You’re right! I’m scared. I’m terrified. I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get to be a cop, or a detective, agent, whatever it is. I want you to do what you want. I want you to have your dream.”

“You’re right, I do want that, but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. I’ve got other dreams.”

“Like what?”

“You, Luna. You’re my dream. The only one that matters.” His words slice through me like a sharp blade that has been honed and heated for deadly precision.

“Until you grow to hate me,” I whisper my voice trembling, hoarse from the tears that want free.

“That won’t happen,” he says, but he’s lying. Maybe I should tell him I’m pregnant. That alone might be enough to make him hate me. I start to… and then stop. I can’t even be sure why, but I know I can’t tell him.

Not right now.

Not like this.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want him to hate me, but I think the real reason is I need Gavin to love me.

I want him to love me—like I love him.

I want him to choose me—freely.

I want him to stay, and not just because he’s trapped by the girl he knocked up.

And maybe that’s not the whole problem. The deal with my parents is there, but time would take care of that, I really believe it would.

“If you stay, we can continue putting money back. We’ll be better prepared.”

“We’re prepared now. I told you that I would take care of you. Are you saying you don’t trust me now, Luna?”

“I’m saying I don’t want to start our lives together living on the run from my parents and the law.”

“Luna,” Gavin growls.

“I’m saying I don’t want to live in your truck while we get enough money put back to find a place. I’m saying I want time, Gavin, and if you love me, you will give that to me.”

“If you love me, you’ll go with me.”

“I do love you. Why are you being like this. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing! I’m not saying we won’t ever leave. I’m just asking for a little time.”

“Luna—”

“I do love you, Gavin. I love you so much. I love you more than you will ever realize. It’s just that I’m not willing—”

“And that right there is the difference, Luna. I’m willing to do anything for you.”

“Then, stay in Stone Lake with me, Gavin. Just stay here with me for a little while longer. Let me catch my breath. Let me figure things out. Give us a chance.”

“I’d give you the stars if I could, Luna. I’d give you anything.”

“Gavin—”

“But, I can’t give you this. I can’t stay here. It will kill me if I’m forced to stay here.”

And just like that the world goes dark for me. It feels as if I’ve died. I can see Gavin standing in front of me, but it’s as if everything is just shrouded in a filmy haze of black now.

All hope is gone.

“Then, I guess it’s over,” I whisper, and I can hear the pain and tears as I say the words.

Can he?

Does he care?

I lose sight of him as the tears finally escape. They fall so hard that they sting, feeling harsh.

“I guess it is,” he says, and he looks at me with blue eyes that once held joy and promise and now look as dead as I feel inside.

“Don’t go, Gavin,” I beg.

“I don’t have a choice,” he responds and with one last look at me. Then, he turns around and puts one foot in front of the other as every step takes him further away.

I stand there, watching him walk away, barely seeing him through my tears and he doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t look back.

Not even once.

I stand there and my world ends. The man I love so much that I’m willing to give up everything for him, just so he can reach his goals, is walking away from me and he’s not even giving me a backwards glance.

My hand goes to my stomach, the small life that I have inside of me.