How to Misbehave (Camelot 1)
It was pretty tepid, as declarations went.
Not good enough.
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” she said. “I cried for more than an hour on Saturday morning, and I ate a lot of ice cream with my mom. She doesn’t like you very much, by the way. She says you need to grovel.”
And Amber was being flirtatious and silly, because she was afraid of what he would say if they had a real conversation. She was afraid of what she would feel if he took her hope away.
He seemed to know it. He lifted her hand off the table and clasped it between his. “Amber? Look at me.”
His brows were drawn together, which probably would have scared some people off, but his eyes were Tony’s eyes, and his hands were Tony’s hands. All of him so dear and familiar to her, even though she hadn’t known him for very long.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You know I tried to warn you off, in the basement, because I’m not … I haven’t been the best bet.”
“I think you’re a good bet.”
“I know you think so, honey.” He sighed. “I want to be able to promise you that everything’s going to work out perfect. I want to say I can give you forever, and a little house with a fence and babies and all that stuff you deserve, if you even decide you want it from me somewhere down the line. But I can’t promise, Amber. I can’t know.”
“Nobody can.”
“I know. That’s what I’m saying. And for as long as I can remember, that was enough to make me say, ‘Fuck it, it’s not worth it.’ I don’t do risks. I don’t take risks anymore, not ever, but I took one with you, and it scared the shit out of me, because it made me want to take a hundred more. Big risks.”
The hope bubble got bigger, expanding until it filled her chest and made her eyes tear up. “What kind of big risks?”
“Like the kind where you move in with me, or I move in with you, and you mix all our videos together so we can’t tell whose are whose.”
“Mine will be the chick flicks.”
She needed to stop being frivolous, but she was so happy and so scared, she couldn’t figure out how. He meant it. He was going to try. For her.
“Like the kind of risk where you sleep with me every night, and I get used to holding you close and leaving the light off, and I tell you all kinds of stuff I never told anybody else.”
“You already told me about the spiders.”
A hint of a smile, and then his brows drew together again. “Like the kind of risk where I might fall in love with you.”
She made a noise. Kind of a gasping, inelegant noise, and Tony grimaced.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You haven’t shocked me. Or, okay, maybe you did a little bit, but it’s only because you’re doing such an excellent job with the groveling.”
“I want you, Amber. Bad. Not just your booty. I want to have breakfast with you in the morning. I have this fantasy of you cooking me eggs and bacon in that pink robe.”
“That’s a very male fantasy. Do you also get a blow job?”
“Not in that one. We just talk and eat breakfast.”
“I like that. Can I tell you one of mine?”
A little smile. “Anytime.”
“I have this fantasy of taking you to my parents’ for dinner and introducing you to everybody as my boyfriend.”
She waited for him to turn white or gulp or run away, but he didn’t d
o any of those things. He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. “I’d be okay with that.”
“Good. Don’t worry, I didn’t want to do it tonight. Tonight, I was hoping for more debauchery.”
“There you go again with the big words.”