Four Real

Tears come again, and I’m reaching for a tissue when my phone buzzes with a text. A wave of fear passes over me. What if it’s Tom, texting to chastise me for not knowing how to behave on a date?

To my relief, it’s Cade.

But then I remember that the last time I saw Cade, I had an orgasm while his brother was giving me a piggyback ride.

Cade: We’re about to start Sherlock. Wondered if you want to join us?

Me: No thanks. You enjoy.

There’s a long pause as three dots hover on the screen.

Cade: Maybe you’re busy, and that’s fine, but I’m just wondering, are you okay?

Now it’s my turn to pause.

Me: Yeah, I’m fine.

Cade: Please come. It’s more fun when we watch with you.

I bite my bottom lip. I don’t want Cade or his brothers thinking there’s something wrong, and I could definitely use a distraction. Sitting here alone and miserable all night isn’t going to help anything.

Maybe seeing the Evans brothers now, rather than letting too much time pass, will help me move past the whole mortifying orgasm incident. They must not have been aware of what happened or they either would have said something, or would not be inviting me over again.

While I’m talking myself into going over there, it occurs to me that maybe I’m only meant to be friends with men. Maybe I’m one of those people who’s destined to be single their whole life, and maybe that will be fine.

Me: Okay, I’ll be over soon.

8

That’s what friends are for

Cade meets me at the door, and I find the rest of the Evans brothers in the family room passing around a big bowl of popcorn. They offer good-natured greetings and, since they’ve been waiting for me, we quickly settle in to start watching the show.

I’d never watched the British series Sherlock before, and I’m surprised how quickly it grabs my attention, despite all the thoughts swirling in my head. I’m fairly immersed in it until a scene between Sherlock and Molly, a morgue technician. The woman clearly has a thing for the detective, but he completely ignores her interest. She looks awkward and crestfallen, and her defeat tugs at something in me.

Once I’m reminded of my own romantic losses, my mind takes off in unwanted directions, replaying images of me on the bench with Tom, me alone on my next birthday and all the years to come.

I try to rein in the negative thoughts, but when they don’t obey, I get up. “I’ll be back. No need to pause it.”

Before I can reach the bathroom in the hall, Cade comes up behind me, his voice low. “Bianca, are you all right?”

My first instinct is to lie, and I attempt to, but he’s persistent. “You seemed upset the last time you were here, and you’re definitely not yourself tonight. What’s going on?”

The concern in his eyes breaks me, and before I can stop them, a few tears escape.

“Bianca, what’s going on?”

Ryder comes up behind him, and it’s clear that there’s no easy way out of this, so I may as well go straight through. After a deep breath, I say, “I had a date tonight.”

Cade’s jaw immediately tightens. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Nothing happened.”

“Bianca.” His voice lets me know he doesn’t believe me.

“He just … he tried to kiss me, and I didn’t like it, and he got mad when I wanted him to stop.”

“What the hell?” Ryder’s voice is loud. “Who was this asshole?”

Knox and Logan appear, their faces showing curiosity, which quickly turns to anger as soon as they’re filled in. I don’t give them Tom’s name or any other identifying information; I only outline the basic details of what happened.

Ryder seems almost too angry to talk, but Cade says, “If he made you uncomfortable, that’s on him. He shouldn’t have pushed you into doing anything you didn’t want to do.”

“Honestly, I don’t know if it was him or me. Maybe his behavior was completely normal, and I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“What do you mean?” Knox asks.

“Well, I … I don’t have much experience.” I cast my eyes toward the floor.

“So?” Logan says, his tone full of belligerence that I know isn’t directed at me.

“I have actually zero experience. None whatsoever.” I glance up to see Ryder’s eyes wide with surprise.

Cade’s voice is gentle. “Are you saying … you’re a virgin?”

Frustrated and embarrassed at having to spell it out, I erupt. “Yes, I’m a virgin, and not only have I never had sex, I’ve hardly been on any dates, and before tonight, no one had ever kissed me! Now, I finally had the opportunity to kiss someone, and I messed things up!”

The brothers had taken a step back at my outburst, but Logan comes closer again. “First of all, a decent man would’ve never been all over you like that, without knowing or even asking that you’re okay with it. Being uncomfortable sucking face with a dude you barely know doesn’t make you awkward. It makes him a pushy asshole.”