The Saint (Notorious 3)

Margot stood, her chair raking across the hardwood and then she left out the back door. I wondered what pain Margot had suffered over Vanessa, but I had more important things to worry about than the past.

I had my future on the line.

“It was her,” I said to Zoe. “She gave the information to Blackwell. I knew it all along. Those things I said to you…I’m so sorry.” My voice cracked, and I couldn’t believe it but I was about to cry. Tyler was never going to let go of this, but I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t control it.

“I was scared,” I said. “My whole life I’ve been scared. Of being hurt again like I was when my mom abandoned us. I froze you out because my life was falling apart and I was terrified. I still am. I have no job, Zoe. No career. Nothing but a bad reputation, but none of it matters. Nothing matters…but you. Your mom said—”

“You saw my mom?” she asked.

“She sent me here, sort of,” I said. “But she said once someone loves you, they’re yours. And it’s true, Zoe. I’m yours, whether you want me or not. You told me that you were falling in love with me and I need to tell you that I am in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the moment you stood on that chair.”

“Carter—” She sighed, but it wasn’t happy. “So much has happened to you. Is this some sort of…I don’t know…?”

“Act of desperation,” Tyler filled in. The ass.

“Could we get some privacy?” I snapped, and my family started to clear the room.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Savannah whispered before giving me a quick hug. Tyler patted my back.

“Try not to blow this,” Tyler said. “We like her.”

Finally the room was empty of O’Neills and I was alone with Zoe.

“I think your brother is right—this might be an act of desperation,” Zoe said.

“I know.” I laughed and it felt so good I did it some more. Why did this feel so good? Maybe it was the ten cups of coffee, or maybe it was finally living a life without control. “I’m totally desperate. I’m an absolute mess, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. But I have to say, Zoe, I feel better than I have in years. I’ve spent my whole life frightened, trying to control everything. And I don’t have to do that anymore. All I have to do is love you. And I do.”

Zoe stared at me, level and calm, unmoved by my words. It made me feel desperate, lost, and I realized that this was how I’d made her feel. I’d shut her out like this when she’d been naked in front of me.

My instinct was to pull back, save myself, protect myself somehow, but I couldn’t. She’d been so brave, loving me. Showing me every scar and ugly place in her life. The least I could do was show her every beautiful thing I saw when I looked at her.

“You’re the most uncontrollable force of nature I’ve ever met. You’re unpredictable, and unorthodox. You wear your whole heart on the outside of your body and aren’t happy unless I’m doing the same. You make me laugh and you make me feel good. And this baby…your baby…is a product of your bravery and that gigantic heart that I admire and respect so much.”

She blinked, her eyes damp, and my heart soared in relief. “I know I don’t have much to offer you. I mean, in terms of security. Eric has offered me some kind of job, but I don’t know what that is. I might be on a road crew, which I hear makes good money, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that. But—” I was babbling, like Zoe when she was nervous, and it wasn’t until she laughed that I could stop talking.

“I don’t care about your money,” she said. “All I’ve ever cared about is you.”

I sighed with pleasure, her words like a warm bath I could ease into. “I know I’m late to the game,” I whispered, carefully reaching out for her belly, that taut swell of hope and excitement and love waiting to be born. “But I swear I will spend the rest of my life caring about you and this child.”

Her breath shuddered and hiccuped and then she was crying and in my arms and I couldn’t hold her close enough.

“She’s crying!” Katie cried through the door, the little spy. “But they’re hugging so I think it’s good.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered into her hair, against her skin. “I will never hurt you like that again. I love you so much.”

I heard Savannah cheer in the other room and I groaned. “At least you’ve met my family,” I said. “They can’t scare you away now.”