The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating (The Introvert's Guide 1)

“I don’t have to.”

“Colton, if you think I’m lifting that bag when your arm muscles are bigger than my thighs, you can think again.”

“Thank you for noticing.”

“Shut up.” She unlocked her car and popped the trunk. “It’s too damn heavy for me.”

I hauled the huge bag of corn out easily.

“My hero.” The snark in her tone was heavy, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her as I walked away with the bag hauled over my shoulder.

“I wouldn’t go that far. Grandpa wanted corn for one of those stupid fluffy chickens and I didn’t know where to find some, so you’ve saved me a job.”

“Uh.” She locked her car and caught up with me. “Great. Now I’m being helpful. I’m not even supposed to be here today, but she wouldn’t stop calling me asking for some scratch corn or something like that. I don’t even know if this is right. The guy at the store was both concerned and amused by me.”

“I am familiar with those feelings.” I got the door and held it open for her.

She eyed the bag where my hand was balancing it in one place. “Show-off.”

I laughed and ushered her inside. “Where am I putting this?”

“No idea. You’ll be fine while I find out, Popeye.”

“Popeye? Really?”

She shrugged, then glanced over her shoulder at me. “First thing that came to mind. Hey, Grandma, where does this corn go?”

“In the shed by the pond, dear.”

I was never going to be able to put this down, and it was starting to hurt my shoulder now.

I was strong, but not superhuman.

“Come on.” Tori nodded for me to follow her, and it wasn’t until she’d stopped to hold open the door that I realized Agatha was hot on our heels.

Well.

Not that hot.

The woman was in her eighties.

We finally made it to the pond. The ducks were all over the water, swimming happily and dipping their heads in and out, and one in a smart bow tie waddled into the duck house with a big quack.

“Oooh, that’s Cheese. She’s off to lay,” Agatha said excitedly. “I do love her eggs.”

Like you could tell the difference.

“Where do you want this bag, Agatha? It’s about to break my shoulder.”

“Oh, in here.” She hefted the door to the metal shed open. “I’ll get the basket. You’ll have to carry it for me.”

“I will?”

“Yes, dear. My arthritis is playing up.” She wiggled her fingers at me,

Like I hadn’t just watched her cross-stitching just fine.

I put the bag down and opened it for her. She was able to bend over okay to scoop the corn stuff into the basket, and she could hold the damn basket just fine until it was full.

Then, apparently, she needed me to do it.

The woman was a menace.

I dutifully took the basket, making sure to beeline for Grandpa before Agatha had me doing pitstops at every single chicken and duck out here. He gleefully took a handful and held it out for Meryl who happily pecked away at it.

Damn.

I kind of wanted one of those myself.

What was happening to me?

“Is it just me or is that chicken… cute?” Tori asked, standing next to me with her head tilted to one side. “Like, I kind of want to cuddle it, and I don’t really know how I feel about that.”

Grandpa chuckled.

“I’m extremely uncomfortable with this.” She turned and walked away, heading for Agatha. I followed her, laughing, but I quickly stopped when I realized Agatha wanted to feed every single bird one by one instead of scattering the feed across the floor.

“This is going to take forever,” I lamented to Tori.

“Yup.”

***

“What are you doing tonight?”

Tori tossed her keys in the air before she caught them again. “I am regrettably meeting someone for a drink.”

“Oh.”

“It’s nothing crazy,” she said quickly. “Piper met this guy and wanted me to join them since he said he had a single friend, so I kind of don’t have a choice.”

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. Like I said before, you don’t have to justify yourself to me.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “I know. I just… don’t really want to go. I have a ton of work to do and the last thing I need to be doing right now is talking to some random guy whose name I don’t even know.”

“So don’t go.”

“I have to. I promised.” She shrugged and leaned against her car. “What are your plans?”

“Laundry,” I said dryly. “Not exactly a stunningly exciting night.”

“I’d rather be doing laundry.”

“Feel free to come and do mine. I’ll even feed you for your troubles.”

Her lips pulled up. “I’ll pass for a few more days, if you don’t mind.”

I raised my eyebrows when I realized what she was saying. “Friday at ten?”

“My place.”

I groaned. “Your cat hates me.”

“My cat hates everyone. She’s a cat. It’s what they do.”

“I’ll bring tuna.”

“No, thank you. If she likes you, I’ll have to keep you, and I can’t think of anything worse than spending more time than absolutely necessary with you.”