The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating (The Introvert's Guide 1)

She was tall with a toned body and long brown hair, and her smile was endearing from her photos.

I guessed replying to her message wouldn’t kill me.

With a shrug, I did just that. It was nothing but small talk, but it would get Kinsley off my back for a while.

I would take that as a win.

I hit send on the movie right as my phone buzzed. I snatched it up and fucking hated the fact I had to fight a smile at the sight of Tori’s name.

TORI: Don’t replace me just yet.

ME: Shit. Someone was coming tonight.

TORI: Hardy har har, you’re a real comedian.

TORI: This date fucking sucks.

Was it petty if I replied with ‘good?’

Yeah. It was petty.

ME: I’m sorry.

TORI: No, you’re not. You take pleasure in my pain.

ME: No. I take pleasure in your pleasure. Literally.

TORI: I know. It’s the only good thing about you.

ME: Something has to be good.

TORI: You were cutting it fine until then.

ME: I do have other good qualities.

TORI: I don’t come over for your good qualities, Colton.

TORI: I have to go. I’m hiding in the bathroom and if I stay here much longer I’m going to need a good reason why.

ME: Just say you’ve got an upset stomach. That’ll get you out of the date.

TORI: *eye roll emoji*

I put my phone down with a smile right as a notification popped up on my laptop that I had a new message. I clicked, and it was from the same woman I’d messaged earlier.

Her message was enthusiastic and bubbly, bright and fun, and…

I shut the laptop.

For fuck’s sake.

CHAPTER EIGHT – TORI

rule eight: don’t let the bitches get you down.

or, you know. people in general.

I was done with people today. All I wanted to do was wrap myself in a blanket burrito and hide away from the world.

I’d started the day off with an email chain with the world’s pickiest client that had turned into a video call that had achieved absolutely nothing, and it was ending with my cat having decided that one of my nice fabric dining chairs was her scratch post.

The actual scratch post was six feet away.

One of three.

In an apartment.

So, yes.

I was very done with today. I just wanted to hide away and ignore the world. Pretend nothing other than me and my blanket and Netflix existed. I was tired and frustrated and feeling very, very human right about now.

My crappy date last night hadn’t helped. The entire date had been a shambles; not even Piper had enjoyed herself, and she was the kind of person who, generally, could enjoy a landslide.

Not much got under her skin.

But these guys…

I shuddered as I wrapped myself up on the sofa. Genevieve jumped up and snuggled herself into the corner of the sofa, side-eyeing me every time I dared to move my feet.

It was a little on the inconvenient side, not gonna lie.

I really needed to stretch my legs out, but nope, there was a cat.

Story of my life.

I needed comfort right now. I was too comfortable to get junk food, so I snuck my hand out in search of the remote control. My fingers made contact with it, and I navigated my way through the motions to get to Netflix where I hit play on Schitt’s Creek and snuggled in to watch.

God, this sucked.

I was so miserable tonight that the only cure was to call someone and not be alone, yet the idea of being near anyone else was almost revolting.

I reached out for my phone. There were two text messages blinking at me along with a thousand other notifications. One was a sales pitch and the other was from Colton.

I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Ever since we’d had that mini fight last weekend at Bronco’s, we’d texted every single day, even if it was just a passing discussion. I opened the text because there wasn’t much chance that this day could get much worse.

COLTON: I think I’m being forced to date.

Look at that.

I was wrong.

ME: Thanks for the update?

COLTON: Sorry. It’s not like anyone else knows why I don’t want to.

ME: Why don’t you want to?

COLTON: Because if I date someone I’ll leave you sexless. Doesn’t seem very fair to take away your orgasms just because someone found me irresistible.

ME: I highly doubt that will happen.

ME: Also, you have underestimated the bottom drawer of my nightstand.

COLTON: I know where I’m snooping next time I come over.

ME: It’s locked. For good reason. *devil emoji*

COLTON: See? I bet Cora from the dating app doesn’t have a locked drawer of sex toys.

ME: I didn’t say it was sex toys. It could be my snacks for all you know. Snacks make me happy.

COLTON: A drawer in the bedroom? Full of sex toys and/or snacks? Both are winners.

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

Although I saved the middle drawer for my snacks. Also the closet. It was amazing what you could hide in a shoebox. Like good snacks.