The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating (The Introvert's Guide 1)

“I’ll wrap it up for your birthday,” he replied without batting an eyelid. “Wanna grab lunch?”

“I already ate.” I grimaced. “Sorry. But we can get dinner tomorrow.”

There was a chuckle that sounded suspiciously like Kinsley, but it was quickly covered with a laugh.

He glanced in her direction. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Everything,” Holley replied brightly.

“Hey!” came Kinsley’s muffled yell.

“Yes? No?” I asked Colton. “I need to know.”

He turned back to me. “Yes. Why not tonight?”

I got up and slapped his shoulder. “Because I agreed to babysit Tegan overnight tomorrow. Be at Ivy and Kai’s at seven. Kai’s buying dinner.” I swerved in the direction of the bathroom, but he snatched at my wrist and stopped me.

“Wait, what?” There was mild panic in his eyes.

Kinsley roared with laughter and reappeared with a stack of books in her arms. “Colton hates babies.”

“I don’t hate babies,” he said quickly. “I’m just… not very well acquainted with them.”

I blinked at him. “I didn’t know we were supposed to be on first name terms with them all.”

He twisted his lips into an amused smile. “I imagine that would take a while. I haven’t been around a lot of babies, that’s all.”

“He’s scared of them,” Holley translated. “And I don’t blame him. I’ve been around that baby. She’s a master at projectile vomiting.”

Not helping, Holley.

Colton whitened.

“Oh, don’t bother.” I waved my hand and headed for the bathroom. “I can look after a baby just fine.”

***

“Her diapers are on the changing table, under the coffee table, and in the cupboard in all the bathrooms,” Ivy said, pointing to random places. “Her bottles are made up in the fridge, you just need to warm them—”

“In the bottle heater and not in the microwave,” I finished for her. “The wipes are with the diapers, spare pacifiers are in the drawer next to the fridge and in the nightstand next to her crib, and fresh clothes are in the chest of drawers in her room and also the dryer.”

She opened her mouth to argue but was cut off by Kai grabbing her shoulders. “You have Jasmine’s number!” he yelled. “And you know to text pictures every hour to soothe Her Majesty over here!”

“Aye aye, Captain!” I called. “Go away and have fun!”

“But I—”

“You’ve said goodbye six times, Ivy!” Kai laughed and I caught a glimpse of him shoving her out of the front door. “Just call the pizza place when you’re ready. It’s paid for!”

“You’re my favorite person!”

“I left my phone!” Ivy shouted. “Hang on!” She came running back into the house and into the living room. Tegan was lying on her mat happily batting at the butterflies hanging above her, and Ivy dropped to her knees. “Bye, baby. I’ll miss you.” She kissed each of her baby’s cheeks about sixty times.

“Ivy!” Kai growled, marching back in.

“I’m starting to think you don’t trust me with your baby.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, my God!” Ivy clapped her hands against her cheeks. “No! I trust you more than anyone.”

“Thank you,” Kai added.

“You know what I mean.”

“Then go!” I helped Kai haul her up to the sound of Tegan’s giggles, and together, we managed to manhandle her to the front door where he dragged her out and I promptly locked it from the inside so she couldn’t get in.

Then I leaned to the side and stuck my tongue out at her through the little window.

She flipped me the bird, and Kai bundled her into his truck where all their things for their romantic night away was waiting.

I happened to know that Ivy’s suitcase contained a very nice set of lingerie, but I had the sneaking suspicion that they’d be having room service in bed and would be crashed by nine-thirty.

“It’s just you and me, Teegs!” I sat down next to her on the floor.

She looked over at me with big blue eyes and her little bow lips parted in a very interested way, and she kicked her legs and burst into peals of tiny baby giggles that quite literally pinged my ovaries into next week and back again.

“Are you laughing at Auntie Tori? Am I funny?” I tickled my fingers on her belly, and she giggled even more. “Do you like that?”

More and more giggles.

Ugh. This baby. She had my heart.

She was just the sweetest.

But I’d also only had a matter of minutes with her, so there was that.

Right on cue, she spit up a little, and it dribbled down the side of her face and onto the mat below her.

Lovely.

I grabbed the wipes that were on the shelf under the coffee table and cleaned her up, just as there was a knock on the door. I scooped her up off the floor and cradled her against me so I could answer it.

I peered through the window.

It was Colton.

I unlocked the door and opened it. “Um, hello?”