The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating (The Introvert's Guide 1)

She grinned. “I wrangled Kai into buying all the food. Since they’re not paying me, it was only fair. Now I’m not happy that I have to share with you, but I’ll live.”

“I’ll make it worth your while. Tomorrow.”

***

“Penisssss!”

“Agatha, that’s just not appropriate,” Dylan said from the front of the room.

“But I can see his penis.” She was pointing at one of the new residents who had lost his shorts.

And who was not wearing any underpants.

The old guy looked down at his bare legs. “Oh, dear.”

“That’s all right, Mr. Canon. Why don’t I give you a hand with those?” One of the young nurses rushed over to help him while I grimaced from the corner. She quickly attended to him, even making sure to do up the tie at his waist so it didn’t happen again.

She was a better person than I was.

“This is bullshit,” Grandpa muttered from the chair next to me.

Slowly, I nodded. “Thank God for your note from the doctor, eh?”

Grandpa slid me a look. “Always a help. I’ll have to take him some of those nice tomatoes your sister is growing me next time I see him.”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

“She came to see me yesterday.”

“She usually does.”

“Told me you’re courting our Agatha’s granddaughter.”

“Who’s courting my granddaughter?” Agatha shrieked. “Not one of those ruddy Brits, I hope! They’re overrunning this town! I’ll have to start another war!” She turned to Dylan. “No offense, dear.”

He sighed. “No, Agatha. It absolutely sounded like a compliment.”

Agatha winced. “But did you have to bring your friends, dear?”

“Stop being so bloody dramatic, Agatha,” Rosie said, straightening up. “Fresh blood is a good thing. And if you had your hearing aid in, you’d know your granddaughter’s fancy man is over there.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a fancy man,” I said warily.

“You.” Agatha squinted at me. “Are you sleeping with my granddaughter?”

“What is happening in here?” London walked in, hand pressed to her stomach. “I was told it’s a yoga class.”

“Welcome to the madhouse,” I muttered. “They’ll get bored in a minute. Come and sit down.”

She shuffled across the room as Dylan called everyone to order again and demanded that they focus. “Why are they doing yoga?”

“Keeps us young,” Grandpa replied. “It’s why I don’t do like. I like being an old codger.”

London bit back a laugh. “Fair enough. That seems as good an argument as any. Does Grandma really do this?”

We watched as Rosie tried to get into one of the warrior poses.

“Ooh. That’s a treat.” London winced. “Why am I here?”

“Only time before you have to get Leo from school?” I asked.

“That’ll be the one. Is this over soon? I don’t think my eyes can take it.”

Grandpa checked his watch. “Ten minutes.”

“Darn it.” She sat back.

“Thank you for interrupting their tirade. You bought me a few minutes before I have to answer to Agatha.” I rubbed my eyes.

“You want me to fight her, son?” Grandpa asked. “Give her the old one-two.” He mimed punching a few times, then stilled. “Oof. Me back.”

“No, you’re all right there, Grandpa. Thanks for the enthusiasm, though.” I patted his hand and lowered it to his lap.

“Agatha? Oh, right. Tori.”

“About time if you ask me,” Grandpa said, watching the yoga class. “Been going at each other for years. About time you decided to look after one another for real.”

I side-eyed him. “Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome. Just don’t break her heart.”

“You’re my grandfather. Shouldn’t you be telling her not to break my heart?”

“You don’t have a heart.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, son. Hey, Dylan! When is this damn class over? I want cake!”

“You wanna grab a coffee?” I asked London.

She nodded a little too enthusiastically, and we both ran out of the room before the next fight in there escalated.

I’d witnessed four already. I had no desire for a fifth.

Luckily, we were able to escape before carnage ensued and make it to the main room where the coffeemaker was kept for visitors. I poured us both a cup and we fixed it the way we liked it, then sat down.

I’d never really spent any time with London. She was Holley and Ivy’s cousin and had moved a few years ago, so being alone with her was a little weird.

“How was babysitting?” She broke the silence.

“It was good,” I replied. “Surprisingly. Apparently, Tegan loves me, and whenever I held her, she stopped crying. Made things a little easier, but I think Ivy now wants to divorce Kai and marry me, so that’s a little awkward.”

She laughed. “Ooh, magic touch. Could have used one of you when Leo was a baby. He was the worst.”

“Really? He’s a great kid.”

“He is now, but he’s six. The first few months was the things of nightmares. I’m thankful his dad was there, but boy. You’d have to pay me a lot of money to make me do that again.”