The Devil I Crave (Devil's Knights 2)

“You only have yourself to blame,” I pointed out. “I’m not responsible for what I did tonight. That’s on you.”

“I know,” he breathed.

I slid my fingers through his black hair, tugging at the ends. “You put me in that position.”

He lifted his head from my lap and stared into my eyes. “I can’t live without you. You know that, right? I’d rather fucking die than lose you.”

I stroked his hair. “You have me, Luca.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Duh,” I shot back.

“I didn’t touch another woman.” He clutched my thighs, gutting me with those beautiful but terrifying blue eyes. “You’re it for me, baby.”

Marcello sat painfully still on the bed, keeping his distance from us. I glanced over at him, and he looked somewhat deflated, but he knew there was nothing that could break the bond I’d forged with Luca.

Drunk off his ass, Luca held on to me to maintain his balance. I gripped his biceps, and he looked up at me with one eye open.

“I love you, Drea,” he slurred. “I didn’t understand my feelings for you… not until tonight. Not until I saw you with Marcello. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Despite his drunken state, I believed him. Seeing me with his brother was the final straw, the thing that made him snap. If only he had realized sooner, we could have avoided years of heartache. I couldn’t say I loved him back, not after what I’d done with Marcello.

“You need a shower,” I told him. “And some sleep.”

“Stay with me,” he said in a hushed tone. “Sleep in my bed.”

Luca had never asked me to spend the night. Sure, we’d had sex in his bed, but I usually went home afterward. Our moments of intimacy never lasted because Luca almost instantly withdrew from me. I could feel him slowly rebuilding his walls.

“Okay,” I agreed. “But you’re taking a shower, and we’re going straight to bed. Nothing more.”

Luca pushed himself up from the floor and extended his hand. Before we left the room, I glanced over at Marcello. He gave me a nod of approval. I would miss what I had with him, but I could never replace the feelings Luca stirred inside me.

Ten years ago, Luca had asked me if two broken halves could make a whole. Back then, we both thought the answer was no. It turns out we were both wrong.

Luca

I rolled over the next morning with a wicked hangover and the sun in my eyes. My skull pounded so hard it felt like hellhounds were racing through my head. The clock on my beside table said it was after ten o’clock, which fucking pissed me off. I never slept for more than two hours at a time, and it was well past my usual wakeup.

Only lazy assholes sleep this late.

I rolled onto my back, and the mattress shifted beside me, a reminder of what happened last night. My confession. Alex fucking my younger brother. The clusterfuck that was my thirtieth birthday bash.

Alex reached over, running her long fingernails down my stomach. “How do you feel?”

Her words said one thing, but I knew what she wanted to ask. How do I feel after confessing my love for her?

“Fine,” I lied.

I told Alex I loved her, and she didn’t say it back. That wasn’t a dream. I actually said those words aloud, even though I’d known my feelings for her went above and beyond love. A single word could not encompass what Alex meant to me.

No amount of money or actions could ever convey she was more than a Queen, a symbol of power in my world. She was everything to me. And this time, I was not fucking this up with Alex. I was not letting her go.

After we left Marcello’s bedroom, we took a shower together. I was so drunk I could barely stand. Drunken nights like those were rare for me. I never lost control like that. But seeing Alex with my brother fucked with my head. It wasn’t like the last time with the Knights.

“We should talk about last night,” Alex suggested.

“It’s in the past,” I assured her. “I opened the door to what happened between you and Marcello.”

“I’m mad at you for putting me in that position,” she said with a pouty expression on her pretty face. “But I’m kind of glad you did.”

She wanted to have this discussion last night, but I was too fucked up to hold down a conversation. Instead, we quickly washed and got into bed, falling asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

I slipped my fingers between hers and rolled onto my back. She sucked in a deep breath when our eyes met, a silent communication occurring between us.

Last night was a fucking nightmare.

I lost the game and almost lost the girl.

“Do you hate me?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.