Stay with Me (Return to Haven 1)
“Why do you lie to me?” he demanded, dropping his hands and taking a step back. “You think I can’t tell you’re terrified of your feelings when it comes to me, to my daughter? You weren’t expecting us, were you? Now you’re in a rush to get back to work, to get that precious promotion, but you’re getting too involved here and you don’t want to admit it.”
She said nothing as she kept her gaze averted to the floor between them. Jax raked a hand over his stubbled jawline and willed himself to be patient toward this most frustrating woman. She was hurting and obviously didn’t know how to deal with the pain. He knew a thing or two about wounds, but even if he didn’t, he wasn’t about to let her feel alone.
“What happened today, Livie?”
She shook her head, still not meeting his eyes.
“What happened?” he pressed.
With tears filling her eyes, she lifted her head. “Tell me how s
ick my dad was when we left.”
The topic was bound to be brought up and he wasn’t about to lie. “He wasn’t terminal, but he did have cancer. He beat it and lived years in remission.”
Livie blinked away the moisture. “Did you know he kept a journal? I found it with pictures in a decorative box under his nightstand.”
“No, I wasn’t aware of a journal.”
That didn’t surprise Jax. Paul was big on not keeping feelings bottled up. Perhaps if Livie had stayed, being more open would’ve been a trait she would’ve continued to learn from her father.
“He had so much planned for this place, for you.” She glanced away again and whispered, “For me.”
It was a wonder she got any painting done at all if she’d spent the morning reading her father’s thoughts. Jax would love to see this journal, and he believed he had the right, but now was not the time to ask.
“More than once he mentioned what he’d do if he had the money.” Livie toyed with the frayed hem of her old T-shirt. “He wanted to repair everything and add in a little restaurant. He didn’t want anything grand or over-the-top. He just wanted to continue to serve the community.”
Livie pulled in a shaky breath and scratched her cheek, resting her open palm on the side of her face as she continued to stare aimlessly. “Jade came into the room as I was reading and told me about Zach’s quote for the renovations so I just gave her your number. I didn’t want to talk to you or anyone else, really. I just wanted to read.”
And now he felt like an ass for being so angry with her earlier. She hadn’t been running, at least not that time. She’d been reading and reconnecting with her father in the only way possible now. She’d most likely been feeling guilt for not being here and for losing him suddenly.
“Then I got your text and came right over.”
Jax leaned back against the door and shoved his hands in his pockets. This tiny office seemed to be closing in on them and all of these feelings. Too many feelings that neither of them knew what the hell to do with. They’d both steamrolled right into unchartered territory and they were floundering through it together.
Well, he was floundering around. Livie had a pretty clear picture of what she wanted for her future . . . and he wasn’t in it.
The thought squeezed at his chest like a vise and he hated that he’d lost control over his plans and his life. There was so much he wanted, so much that seemed within reach, but in reality all of this was totally temporary.
Clearing his throat, Jax pushed aside those emotions. She wasn’t ready to face them and he wasn’t going to press her. He had to remind himself she was dealing with much more than just him. She was going through Paul’s things, trying to get her house on the market, vying for a top spot at her firm . . . and he was purposely trying to make her realize what she had here.
But this wasn’t her home. Haven hadn’t been hers for some time now. Just because he loved it here, because he wanted to keep his roots firmly planted, didn’t mean she did.
“Listen, I do need your help.”
He held his hands up, palms out, when she opened her mouth. No doubt she was about to protest, but he wasn’t having it and he wasn’t letting her leave so soon.
“You can hold the ladder and the tools if you want, but I am not calling someone in when I’m sure it’s something I can do myself,” he explained.
Livie pursed her lips together and finally nodded. “Fine. But I do have to get back to paint.”
Jax smiled. “You give me an hour and I’ll come help you paint.”
“Where’s Piper today?”
“She’s at the sitter’s. I’ll get her later and then we’ll come over. Surely one of you ladies can keep her entertained while I work.”
Livie rubbed her hands over her damp cheeks, then glanced to the paint splotches on her hands. “I’m such a disaster,” she groaned. “I don’t even recognize myself. I don’t know how to paint without making a mess.”