Giving Her My Baby

I click the Wikipedia link on him, hoping that will give me something, but it lists him as single. Interesting. Maybe they’re keeping a low profile on it or something. I feel a trace of guilt for the attraction I felt when I first saw the picture of Brooks. He belongs to someone else. I need to remember that. I’ve never once had thoughts like that before about a client. It’s a little unsettling. I’ve also never had an instant attraction to a man either. Normally I have to force myself to go on dates, hoping that one will maybe grow over time. But it never does.

I look up when I hear the bus driver call my stop. I put my phone away and exit. It’s only a short walk to the doctor’s office, and I stand outside looking up at the building. I’m not as excited as I thought I would be. Something doesn’t feel right. When I was a little girl and I played with my dolls, this was never how I saw this happening. I shake my head at myself, trying to shake off the pity party I’m having for myself.

I walk into the doctor’s office, pasting on a smile I don’t feel. I fill out the paperwork and go through all the motions, but I swear I’m not taking it in. It isn’t until the doctor sets down a pile of folders in front of me that I finally snap out of the trance I’d fallen under.

“These are possible donors,” she tells me, sliding the folders towards me. I hesitate for a moment before reaching out and taking them. I sit there with them, but I don’t open any. “Take them home and look over them. If you have any questions, feel free to call or shoot me an email,” she adds.

“Thank you,” I respond, not looking at her. My eyes are still locked on the folders. I don’t want to pick them up.

“We’ll have your test results back soon and I’ll call you then,” the doctor says, then stands. I follow suit, knowing I have to take these folders with me. I finally reach out and grab them, pulling them to my chest. I wish I’d brought a bigger bag with me. The doctor must read my face because she opens a drawer and takes out a bag for me to place the files into.

“Thanks,” I tell her as we exit her office. When I step out onto the busy street I feel nothing like I thought I would. I thought I’d be more excited, but it feels more like a realization that I’m not getting the life that I’d always dreamed about.

I look up, thinking someone is staring at me. I glance around but don’t see anyone near me. Everyone is coming and going like another normal busy day in the city. Pulling out my phone, I text my mom and tell her everything went great so she doesn’t worry. She’d wanted to come with me, saying she’d call out of work, but I told her I’d be fine.

I don’t feel fine. In fact, I’ve never felt more uncertain in my life.

3

Brooks

I hold the newspaper over my face until she passes by. I don’t know how she didn’t notice me following her into the doctor’s office or sitting in the waiting room holding a magazine up, but she was completely oblivious. I even followed her outside afterwards and she still didn’t have a clue.

When I first heard about Eleanor Newman, I thought she sounded like an old lady. But when the nurse called her Ella, it fit. Her long dark hair and dark eyes were hypnotic. I had to check myself a few times to be sure I didn’t get caught staring. She had a big ass for her small size, and I couldn’t pull my eyes from it. Even now as I watch her walk, I’m in a trance.

“Fuck, what am I doing?” I say to myself as I hit the button on my phone to call for my driver. He pulls up to the curb almost a second later, and I tell him to take me to my office. I’ve got to beat her there, and I need to get my eyes off her ass, and my cock needs to calm down if I’m going to do it.

I watch as she hails a cab and then gets into it, safely shutting the door as we pass by her. How did I ever get mixed up in this?

Giving the receptionist a smile and promising to get her into the hottest club in the city was an easy way to get what I wanted. I found out that Ms. Newman was there for artificial insemination, but that it was just the preliminary meeting. Nothing had been decided yet, and that went a long way to soothe my anxiety.