The Blind Date
I blink, caught completely off guard by Becky’s assessment of the situation. She sounds so rational, so logical. Is she right? Did I overreact to what Noah said? Am I still overreacting?
I look around the table, meeting each of my friends’ eyes. The truth is written there, plain to see.
Arielle dog-piles onto Becky’s words. “Babe, you know I love you. We all do. And one of your absolute best traits is your whole sunshiny vibe. It’s beautiful and uplifting, and honestly, I wish I could see the world the way you do for even a second. But life can be ugly. It’s messy and brutal and painful sometimes. And you don’t have to package that up with some inspirational quote and pretend it’s okay . . . for us, for your followers, and most importantly, for yourself.”
“Those hard times are what make the good times better,” Eli says.
“You gotta have rain to go with the sunshine, huh?” I ask ironically, and they all nod.
“He said stupid shit, you said stupid shit. Apologize, fuck, and move on,” Loretta summarizes concisely and bluntly.
“Thanks. I think,” I tell them. They’ve given me a lot to think about. Not only about Noah but about myself.
“Oh, now that we figured that out . . . did I tell y’all that I have a date this weekend? Met him on that app you told me about, Riley. We’re only an eighty percent match, but I figure that’s better than some rando looking for free dog groomings.”
“Congratulations!” Becky tells Loretta. “That deserves a celebration. Let’s order some more mushrooms since Riley ate them all. Now that my morning sickness is gone, I swear I could eat all day, every day.”
Becky laughs at herself, chugging her fifth glass of iced water with lemon. Lots of lemon because that’s what the baby likes, she says. Simon smiles, moving the small bowl of lemons closer to Becky and then pushing the call button on the tablet to have Maylee come take our latest order.
Eventually, I do get up and sing a few favorites, including Mom’s favorite, Total Eclipse of the Heart, which seems appropriate.
It’s annoyingly popular, but we finish with a group rendition of Don’t Stop Believing. And I vow to do just that.
Chapter 26
Riley
Morning comes too soon. Eli and Arielle offered to stay over when they dropped me back home after the night out, but I’d wanted to hide again. I’d had a lot to think about after everything The Crew told me last night. So my brain power is foggy from overthinking and alcohol.
But what’s in front of me on my computer screen isn’t a nightmare or some figment of my imagination. It’s real.
And it’s awful.
Like a lot of influencers, I pay for a ‘net crawler’ service, an automated program that scours the Internet for mentions of ‘Riley Sunshine’ or my web addresses. Normally, it’s a litany of hotlinks back to my own ’grams, tweets, and reposts.
But this morning, I’ve been greeted with something new, something unexpected. I usually don’t show up in the gossip blogs considering I live a life that’s pretty public. I don’t do drugs, get into barroom brawls, or throw around my influencer status expecting preferential treatment and freebies. And when I’ve done something embarrassing, more often than not, I end up talking about it myself on my social media.
This time, I didn’t post it myself. And it’s not something potentially embarrassing but funny, like commentary on my singing that, when assisted by liquid courage, tends to sound like a horny fox screaming for a mate. No, this mention of my name is nothing like that.
It’s about me and Noah. Or Midnight Mark, as he’s labeled in the captions. I guess someone saw us arguing on the sidewalk yesterday, and like any regular person of the social media age, they started filming. It only took an hour before I was identified as Riley Sunshine and Noah was identified as Midnight Mark from our reveal post.
I’ve watched the video at least ten times now, listening to the hurtful words and flinching at the pained looks on our faces. Seeing myself this way is bad, but seeing Noah like that is worse.
The audio isn’t clear for some of it. You can’t hear us mention BlindDate, thankfully. But my saying, ‘so lonely I had to use a dating app’ and ‘loser’ is unmistakable.
Now the gossip sites are off and running. People have been grinding their way through all of the major dating sites and apps, trying to find my profile. So far, nobody’s hit upon BlindDate, and I suppose it’s good that I used ‘Rachel’ and an email that isn’t associated with any of my social media feeds. I did my best to delete the profile and scrub any activity, even deleting the messages between Noah and me, and I can only hope that I did it in time.