Wrapped In My Wife

We are both at the main desk where you check library books in and out. This is pretty much her workspace and desk.

“My husband.” I smile.

Calling him that always makes me preen. People told us we’d never make it. That our love was too young. But I knew they were wrong. Even after Dylan graduated and I was still in high school, the girls at school would try to fill my head with all kinds of doubt. But I knew one thing about my man. I always have his attention. He’s paid attention to every breath I’ve taken. It drove me crazy, just as much as I loved it. We’ll last forever. I know it to my soul.

“How long have you two been together?”

“High school sweethearts,” I say, and laugh at her shocked expression.

Her eyebrows lift. “Losing the V-cards to each other and everything?”

I bite my lip and nod. This is another thing I like about Nancy—she just says or asks whatever she wants. It’s refreshing. Plus, I can tell she’s genuine with her questions, and there’s no judgment.

“Damn. One dick for life. I could dig that if it was the right dick.”

I burst out laughing but quickly cover my mouth when I remember I’m in a library. I look around, not seeing anyone around. I’ve noticed this place doesn’t get busy until later in the afternoon.

“Are you married?” I ask once I get my giggles under control.

“Nope, just me and my cat. Only one though, so you can’t call me a cat lady just yet. Maybe in a few years.” She smirks.

I wonder if she means she’s getting married in a few years, or if she’ll be a cat lady by then. Either way she smiles so she must be happy about the future.

“My husband is up to something,” I confess.

I put my phone back in my pocket and lean my hip up against the counter. Today I went with pants. I love to wear dresses, but I was worried I might get put back in the basement and pants would be more efficient down there.

Though after spending the morning working side by side with Mark, I wish I could go back to the land of the dust bunnies. He’s a lot to get used to. He asks me a million questions, which is distracting when I’m trying to work. Not to mention I always feel like he’s hovering over me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m new or he thinks I can’t do my job. Either way it’s annoying.

I’ve never given personal space much of a thought before. Normally it’s only my husband or the boys who are in it, and I don’t really care. Maybe I’m just not used to people being around me anymore. The only job I ever worked was in college at a bakery. I spent most of my time alone in a kitchen listening to audiobooks while decorating cookies, and I only did it part time over the summers.

“Go on.” Nancy turns her chair to look at me as if I’m about to give her juicy gossip.

“He’s been really cool about me having this job. A little too okay with it.”

“That’s not like him?”

“It’s hard to explain. My husband can be a caveman when it comes to me. He likes having all of my attention and I like giving it to him. When I first told him about looking for a job, he got all pissy. But then it was like a switch flipped and he was completely fine.” Now I’m wondering if I’m pissy because he isn’t doing his caveman thing.

“If I remember right, you haven’t worked in years?” she asks. Nancy was the one who interviewed me for the job.

“Nope. I got pregnant right before college graduation with our twins. The two of them and my husband have been my life.”

I smile, missing them right now. I keep wondering what they’re doing at this very moment. I know Dylan is at work and the boys are at school, but I still feel like I’m missing out. I hate that I wasn’t there last night while they were making the posters. The boys hung on me like they hadn’t seen me in years after I got home. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of it. They are getting big and I worry about them not giving me affection like they do now as they grow up. I’ve been trying to soak it all up.

“So you wanted more than just to be a mom and wife? I get it.”

“No,” I say instantly, taken aback. I rush to defend myself. “I love being a wife and a mom. I just didn’t think they needed me like they used to. My husband has been working a lot more, and I needed something to fill my time.”