Finding Solace
“I’ve been thinking. Even though we’ve both been to hell and back, we’re finally living the life planned for us all along. We’re living our destiny.”
“I have no doubt.”
Lowering myself down, I’m careful about putting too much weight on her. When I kiss her, a little moan is shared. “Want to go back to the hotel?”
“Can we order room service?”
I stand and offer her a hand. Coming face-to-face, I wink. “Anything you want.”
“Anything?”
“Any. Thing.”
She’s quick to grab her bag and head to the car. Kicking sand up with her feet, she grants me with her gorgeous face when she looks back over her shoulder. “Good. I have a few ideas.”
“Do they include me or food?” I grab the blanket, dusting the sand off as I hurry to catch up with her. “What are you craving?” Fuck the blanket. She looks too delicious to keep my hands off. I scoop her into my arms, putting her into a fit of giggles.
“I’ll give you a hint. I brought your jersey with me.”
“You want me to put it on?”
Tapping her chin on the side of the SUV we rented, she twists her lips. Such a tease. “I was thinking more along the lines of me wearing it for you . . . with nothing else underneath. What do you think about that?”
Holy fuck, as if I couldn’t desire her more, she goes and concocts the best plan in history. Since I’m still lost in those images, she says, “I also have a new cheer I want to show you. That doesn’t include any clothes at all.”
I open the door for her, and reply, “They didn’t make me MVP for nothing. You’re about to see how I score a touchdown.”
Slipping inside the car, she smirks, “I’m hoping this includes a few tackles and first downs, hotshot.”
Once I’m in the driver’s seat, I start the engine. “You ready to back up all this big talk?”
“I can back it up.”
“I know you can.” Taking her hand, I kiss it. “Hey.”
Delilah is the definition of the purest love. Sure, she’s being playfully sexy, but there’s so much more to her that challenges me to be a better man. I’ll strive every day to meet that demand. She replies, “Hey.”
Feeling much like the shy kid I was once around her, I hesitate, but then I lean into my personal sanctuary, touching her cheek. “After the adventures we’ve had, traveling to all these places these past few months, have your dreams come true?”
“Don’t you know, sweet man? I didn’t have to travel the world to make my dreams come true. I just needed to be with you.” She leans into my hand. “Do you think the farm can give you long-term peace to calm your restless soul?”
“It’s never about the farm, or the lake, though both are peaceful places. It’s always been about you.” I kiss her forehead, and whisper, “I’d lost myself, but I found my way home because you gave me a reason to stay.”
She takes my hand from her cheek and lowers it to her belly. “Now you have two.”
“How do you feel about three?”
Though her eyes go wide, she doesn’t say no. “Is that why we’re building a five-bedroom house?”
Moving my hands to the top of her belly, I rub gently. “No, that’s for the fourth baby I was going to beg you to have down the road. That’s why we’re building five bedrooms.”
“You want four kids, Jason?”
“I want a big family, sweetness.” I sneak in a kiss attack on her neck, making her laugh.
“You keep that up, and we might end up with a football team.”
“That’s the plan.”
Tilting to give me more access, she also caresses my neck. “Oh Lord, help me. You are my complete undoing.”
I lean back to get a good look at my girl, her hair hanging over her shoulders, looking so much like the day we began. Kissing her palm, and then the side of her mouth, I whisper, “I was undone the moment I laid eyes on you, honeysuckle.”
I thought I knew what love was. It’s all tied up in a pretty package of silky hair and soft skin, a smile that warms me all the way on the inside, and a soul that cares for me despite my bad deeds. Delilah holds every emotion I’ve ever felt—happiness, heartbreak, protectiveness, possessiveness, compassion, and ecstasy. I’ve never been able to identify everything I feel for her with a single word.
It’s an overwhelming emotion—soft, rounded on the corners, but sharp-tongued, fiery and passionate, pure and comfort, desire and lust, kindness and genuine . . . safe.
Complicated to describe.
Easy to feel.
Perhaps heaven is the best word for it.
The day I meet my daughter, my head clears, and things aren’t so complicated anymore. All these feelings—jumbled inside my heart in a mass of emotion—become clear when I look at Delilah with tears in my eyes. I still need more than one word to describe what my wife gives me that day: