Finding Solace

When I’m lifted upright, he adds, “There are so many things I want to make right, that I want to make you proud of me for, that I want for us in this life. Thank you for giving me the chance.”

His lips take mine, crashing our hearts, our love, our bodies together in a frenzy of passion. He gives all of himself in this kiss, and just like the first time I kissed him, I fall madly, head over heels in love with this man. It’s easy to promise my life to him with words, but we’re deeper than that. It’s not about the words or confessions, sins or pasts.

It’s about the kiss.

This one right here. It’s felt deep through my body and reaches my toes. This man. This. Man. He kisses me with such desire I realize all others don’t matter. This kiss is the first kiss of our forever.

20

Jason

I’m fired up, but I keep the hurricane of anger hidden from her. I have to. Delilah deserves peace after all she’s been through. I sit back in the chair in her room, my leg bouncing from the unsettled emotions twisting inside my gut. I need to move, to fuck, to drink, to beat something up . . . but I’m home.

I have to temper how I’ve been trained to react. I don’t want people here to see the cold mercenary I’ve become. She returns and spins. “What do you think?”

“I like that one.”

Her hands fly to her hips. “You’ve said that about the last two dresses.”

“I like them all. You look good in everything.”

Coming over to me, she leans down to my eye level, and her hand presses on my knee to steady it. “Jason, it’s going to be okay. I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I worry. That’s not something I can change. It’s not something I want to change.”

She stands up with a sigh before turning on the heel of her boots and heading for the door. “I’ll wear this one. Let’s go. We both need a night out.”

Although I can see the worry in her eyes when she passes by, maybe she needs me to let it go. I won’t, but I’ll put on a happy face for her tonight. “Yes, ma’am.”

It doesn’t take long to reach Red River. The ride is mostly quiet. We know we’re making a statement when we walk in there together. People will talk to our faces and then behind our backs. Word will get out, but it needs to. I want this night out with my girl, but I also want to tempt the snake out of his hole. Cole Cutler needs to know I’m not going anywhere, and he better not come anywhere near Delilah.

I help her out of the truck and hold her hand protectively in mine as we walk down the sidewalk to the busy bar. Just before we reach the doors, she pulls me to a stop. “Hey?”

Turning back, I see her eyes are gloriously bright blue with the setting sun shining on them. Wisps of her blond hair blow in the light breeze. The pink of her lips draws my gaze, and I bend to kiss her. She never says anything, but between her grip on my arm and the way she snuggles into me, I hear her unspoken words in every heartbeat. Stroking her hair down her back, I whisper the words she reassured me with earlier, “It will be okay.”

I kiss her temple before she pulls away and tugs me toward the door. “Come on, cowboy. Let’s give ’em something to talk about.”

Cocking an eyebrow, I say, “You’re on.”

She laughs. “I cannot wait to show you off.”

I take hold of the door and let her pass in front of me. “I’m more than a pretty face,” I tease, not so dumb to the fact that women find me attractive. There’s only one woman I’m drawn to, and I’m feeling fucking fantastic that I get to show her off as well tonight.

“You’re right,” she replies, tapping my chest. “You have a great ass too, and arms. Oh, and thank you for letting me pay homage to all eight of those ab muscles last night.”

I slip my hand under her hair and rub the back of her neck. “I let you pay homage to more than my ab muscles. Any chance for a repeat performance?”

“A very good chance.”

Guess getting caught in our own world is something we do more than just out on the farm. Patsy Cline is crooning from the jukebox in the back, but other than that, the place has gone quiet. Even the pinball machine has stopped dinging. I scan the area, always aware.

Five booths.

Twenty-one people.

Ten barstools.

Eight taken.

I need to stop doing this. It’s a bad habit that needs to be broken. I’m safe. No one’s going to get me here. The past is in the past. It’s time I live in the present.