Finding Solace

Crap. He’s right. It’s the only way back to my farm. I won’t hide this time despite how his voice made me feel—holy damn! His voice is one thing, but seeing him is a whole other thing. I’m not prepared. My jaw slacks open, and Billy reaches over to close my trap. “You might want to wipe the drool.”

I don’t have it in me to hide my reaction from him, though.

Jason Koster was incredible-looking back in high school and college, but now . . . he looks like a model from a magazine. His dark hair is long enough to lie to the side, but short enough to think that’s the style he chose. A heavy dusting of stubble shadows his jaw while the intensity of his eyes pierces me, pinning me to the seat. And holy all that is great in this world, why does he have to be shirtless? Good God, I have great memories of his athletic body, but damn, how is it possible to be even better now?

“How should I know? Guess he works out,” Billy replies, shrugging.

Crap. “Did I just say that out loud?”

He chuckles. “You did.”

Jason’s standing with a hose, watering his mom’s lawn when we drive by. With a raised hand, he waves as we drive by, the water spraying high into the air. “So showy and phallic.” I wriggle on the leather, tugging on my seat belt to make sure it’s nice and tight.

“Now, that’s where I draw the line. Don’t put me between yours and Jason’s pent-up sexual tension.”

“What? No. That’s not what I meant at all. It’s like—”

“I don’t want to know what it’s like.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Can we end this?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Jason already knows I’m in here, so there’s no point in hiding. He’s wearing that stupid grin that used to do my heart in every time I saw it.

My heart doesn’t swell, but it does still flutter for the man. Why does he have to be so damn attractive? I roll my eyes, making my own show of things, and look in the opposite direction.

Petty?

Sure.

Immature?

Definitely.

I just . . . I don’t know how to feel about him being back, much less waving to me like we’re old acquaintances who left on friendly terms. We didn’t, so a second chance at anything—friendship or love—isn’t going to happen.

Stopped at the light at Main, Billy looks across the cab at me. “That was awkward.”

“It sure was.”

The light turns green, and as he shifts his truck into gear, he adds, “Why do I feel like this town just got a whole lot smaller?”

I have the same feeling . . .

4

Jason

Roosters crow in the distance as I walk around the back of my mom’s house to inspect it. She’s almost paid it off, but I’ll help her out since she wants to live here for the rest of her life. I need to make sure it’s in good shape for the long haul.

My mom’s been the one constant in my life. When I graduated from college, though, I didn’t look back. Well, I didn’t look back until thirty-six hours ago. I drove away from Kingwood Manor at peace with my role in that situation. It was a job, but it stuck with me. I’m aware of every choice I’ve made over the years, and I have found peace after getting a paycheck. But that one, that last job, and the friends I made, the family they became in a way, have stuck with me.

Even a good night’s sleep, last night being one of the better ones in quite a while, can’t erase what I’ve done. That’s why I need to be here, grounded in the place with people who bring me back to simpler times.

Seeing the sun’s rays shining over the roofline reminds me of Delilah, my Rae of sunshine, and I grin. She’s not so sneaky, hiding in that truck like I wouldn’t see her. Billy got caught up helping his dad at the farm and couldn’t split a six-pack last night, but I have every intention of getting the details of that drive-by out of him soon.

Kicking a loose board on the side of the house with the toe of my boot, I mark it to replace and move to the front. As I keep checking for loose boards, I can’t keep my mind off Delilah, though. And the honeysuckle bush growing wild at the corner of the porch doesn’t help. Honeysuckle . . .

Delilah has spent the better part of an hour creating a floral halo, and the flowers grace her head like a crown. Her beauty is what drew me to her, but her heart—so open and loving—has me wanting to marry her.

Hovering above my head, she’s upside down and smiling at me. “What are you doing, Jason?”