Finding Solace
“For what?”
I would welcome a baby into this world if it were his, if he was there with me to prove that when lives are meant to be entwined, they twist themselves completely into eternity. “For loving me without conditions.”
“Let’s get married as soon as we can.”
All those years he’d believed I hated him, that my soul wasn’t somehow tied to his. But here he is, forgiving me when I can’t forgive myself. Could I be so kind if the roles had been reversed? My heart would be too damaged to repair if I had seen him with another woman. This man before me is the most generous of beings. And like he once said, maybe my true heart now can heal the broken parts of his soul once and forever. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, honeysuckle?”
“For assuming instead of trusting. I did more than break my heart. I broke yours, and that’s harder to live with.”
Taking my hand, he places it over his heart. “You healed this broken heart and settled my restless soul.” He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses each finger. He takes my left ring finger, closes his mouth around it, and then slides it out slowly. “If you could have any ring, what kind do you dream of?”
“I don’t need rings or jewelry. I have everything I need right here.”
Smiling, he chuckles. “Oh no, you don’t. You don’t get off that easy. I want everyone in Freeland County and wherever we travel to know you’re mine.”
“And you’ll wear one because you’re mine.”
“I will flash that ring every chance I get, proud to say I’m the lucky bastard who gets to go home with you every night.”
Dawn peeks through the window, and we slide farther under the covers. “I’m not ready to get up.”
“Paul will manage the farm. Let’s stay a few extra days.”
“Here at the hotel?” How fun would that be?
“Here in this bed. We’ll eat like kings. We’ll binge bad TV—”
“And make love. All night and all day.”
Snuggling closer, I rest my head next to his on the pillow and try to steal a kiss, but he catches me before I sneak back to my side. “Better get used to this, honeysuckle.” Slipping his arm under me, he molds me to him. “I plan to hold you like this every night for the rest of our lives.”
My eyelids dip closed, my body finally heavy with sleep, or maybe it’s that peace he found earlier. I turn, and he spoons me, wrapping his arm over me. “I can handle it.” His breath is warm on my neck, but it’s even and comforting. Cocooned against him, I feel safe, and say, “You saved me.”
“I didn’t save you. You saved yourself.”
“I’m not talking about last night.”
No more words are needed. We both sigh in contentment and close our eyes.
Just as I’m finding sleep, he whispers, “I’m going to make up for every minute we were apart. I promise to give you the fairy-tale ending.”
My lips turn up, happiness filling me, and I tighten my hand around his as I drift asleep.
The hotel was a nice reprieve, a little escape in the middle of chaos. Returning to the farm is difficult at first. Not because I’m scared. I’m not. This place holds way more good memories than bad, but dealing with the aftermath of physical damage is stressful. “I don’t know where to start,” I say, rubbing my temples.
“We just start. Pick something to fix and see it through.”
Billy inspects the bullet hole in the floor of the living room. “You turned and the bullet landed here?”
Jason is standing on the other side of it with his arms crossed and nodding. “Yup. Pretty much.”
“Damn, dude. Did you shit yourself?”
I laugh when Jason scrunches his nose, and replies, “No.”
Billy’s hat is off, and he’s scratching his head. “What’d you do then?”
I peek back at Jason before I enter the kitchen. “I shot him.”
“Whoa.”
We had a cleaning crew from Kerbeyville clean up the blood on a referral from the police. It makes it easier to deal with a mess of broken lamps and a few holes.
Following up his astonishment, Billy asks, “What did you do while you were gone again?”
“Fishing boats in Alaska. A little time in New England. A few other cash-in-hand jobs.”
I guess that’s the story we’re sticking with. His past doesn’t matter anymore. Like he said, he doesn’t have regrets. I don’t either. Guess it took being in his shoes to finally understand why. I do. Us versus them. I hate that there’s even the necessity to think this way, but when push comes to shove, I’ll fight for us. Just as he did.
Looking out the window doesn’t bother me. It should, considering that’s how the beginning of that night began, but Cole’s been released from the hospital straight into a rehabilitation facility. He’s facing time for his alleged ties to an illegal gambling ring.