Dear Heart, I Hate You

“I don’t want a next guy. I’m not done with this one,” I said without thinking, the words slipping out before I could stop them. But it was true.

She gave me a smug grin. “I knew it. I’ll bet you money that you two see each other again.”

I shook my head. “I can’t see it happening. He’s too focused on work. And I don’t factor into that equation.”

I wanted to be wrong, but in my heart, I knew that I wasn’t. I couldn’t begrudge Cal his ambition. After all, I had my own.

“Sounds like someone else I know.” She poked my shoulder with her finger.

“I’m aware. I think that’s part of why we were so attracted to each other. We thought about things the same way. We’re very like-minded, you know?”

“That’s hot. Seriously. Hey, speaking of, please tell me you have a picture of Cal Not-Klein.”

My mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe that wasn’t the first thing I showed you!”

I pulled out my phone and opened the gallery, scrolling through the pictures to my favorite. It was the one of us in the car from earlier today when our heads were smooshed together. We were both wearing genuine smiles that were reflected in our eyes; we looked really happy.

When I handed Tami my phone, she gasped.

“Shit, Jules. Cal Not-Klein is stupid hot. You two look amazing together.”

I tried to smile, but couldn’t quite manage it. “We’re cute, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s not really the word I’d use, but okay. We’ll go with cute.” She moved to hand me back my phone, but scrolled through the other photos instead. “You were holding out on me,” she said as she zoomed in on the picture of Cal kissing me. “Now this, this is hot! Damn, where can I find me a Cal?”

How could I help her find a hottie when mine was in another state? And he wasn’t even technically mine in the first place?

Tami tossed the phone into my lap and said the first thing that had made the most sense all night. “You’re in trouble.”

I nodded. “Exactly. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Can’t Take It

Cal

Jules had only been gone for less than twenty-four hours, and I felt like I was losing my damn mind. The first thing I’d done this morning—after feeling disappointed that she was no longer in town—was to fire off a text to her so she’d get it when she woke up. It was sweet, a gesture that even my romantic brother would approve of. I pressed Send on my phone before I could talk myself out of doing it.

It seemed like the only saving grace at all was the time difference between us. Knowing she was three hours behind me made it easier to resist calling her just so I could hear her voice.

Wait . . . just so I can hear her voice?

Looking at me now, you’d never know I wasn’t always like this. Jules had me affected . . . infected . . . whatever, and it was making me crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I could be in the middle of working on a trade or checking a client’s portfolio, and her smile would break into my thoughts. Before I knew it, I’d be sitting at my desk just staring off into space, daydreaming about being with her.

It was horseshit.

To be honest, I hated that she was gone and that I wished she were still here. No woman had ever gotten me so twisted up in her so quickly before. Three days with Jules and I’d already grown used to the idea of seeing her all the time, used to her being around.

Was that how quickly it took for a habit to form? Jules had become a habit that I didn’t want to break, but I needed to.

My mind was relentless, constantly reminding me of the cute way she laughed, the way she felt in my arms, the way her green eyes sparkled when she looked at me. I struggled to push the thoughts away, but in the end, she always won out. I was a desperate man, missing someone I barely even knew. Somewhere between dropping her off at the airport yesterday and this moment, reality had slipped away, leaving me in dreamland.

I pulled up a florist website on my computer and looked at the arrangements, torn between wanting to send Jules flowers to let her know I was thinking about her, and thinking it was the stupidest idea I’d ever had.

“What are you doing, dipshit?”

Lucas’s voice stopped me cold. I quickly switched to my screensaver before glancing up at him and waved a hand over the papers scattered across my desk.

“What’s it look like, asshole?”