Dear Heart, I Hate You

Plus, it would have been hard for any other rental space to compare to the features this one had. Considering the marble entryway, hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, oversized terrace, and a walk-in closet the size of a normal bedroom, I couldn’t resist. It was hands down the prettiest place I’d ever lived in my life. I loved coming home each day and walking through my door.

After showing my last property of the day and finishing up some paperwork, I headed home well before five. I glanced at the bottle of bourbon sitting on my passenger seat and smiled. Thirteen days. Driving through the privacy gates, I noticed Tami’s BMW in a visitor’s spot, and was thankful she hadn’t stolen my assigned parking space like she sometimes did.

I took the stairs up to my third-floor apartment two at a time before bursting through my front door with a wide smile.

“Honey, I’m home!” I shouted.

“Hi, dear.” Tami appeared from around the corner with a glass of wine already in hand. “Ooh, did you bring me a present?”

When she hustled over and grabbed for the bottle of bourbon I was holding, I stashed it behind my back, out of her reach.

“Hands off. That’s for Cal.”

“But Cal’s not here,” she pointed out, her natural brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Since when do you drink bourbon?”

I nudged her with my hip before moving to put the bottle in one of the many empty kitchen cabinets. I honestly had no idea how anyone could possibly fill them all up unless a family of ten lived there.

She brightened. “Since right now?”

“Not happening,” I said with a laugh. “It’s a gift.”

“Party pooper,” she said with a pretend pout.

When I stuck my tongue out at her in response, she went to the fridge and poured me a glass of wine as a peace offering.

“Thanks.”

I took a big sip of my wine as we stepped out onto my covered terrace, furnished with a patio furniture set that was not only gorgeous, but was well worn in since we sat out there whenever we could. I plopped down in one of the oversized chairs, tucking my feet beneath me, and Tami stretched out in the chair next to mine and propped her feet on a footstool.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked once we were settled in. “Even more excited than you were last night, or are you going to start freaking out?”

“Why would I freak out?”

“Because you’ve only known this guy for a month?” she said, her eyes wide. “And he’s coming out here and he’s going to sleep over in your personal space and stick his thingy in your thingy and who the hell knows how long it’s been since that’s happened.”

Shaking my head, I stared at my best friend like the insane lunatic she was. “I just don’t even know what to say to that.” Rolling my eyes at her, I took a sip of my wine.

“You’re seriously not freaking out at all?”

I shrugged, wondering if something was wrong with me. Should I have been freaking out that Cal was coming here? I didn’t feel like that at all.

“Honestly, I’m just excited. And really freaking happy.”

That answer made her smile. “I like that. I’m happy for you. And I’m really excited too. Cheers.” She pushed her glass toward me and we clinked them together.

“Cheers,” I said, and then leaned my head back against the pale blue padding and breathed in the evening air.

Even though I couldn’t see the water from my place, the ocean was just across the main street. The only issue was that the street was wide and the beach access wasn’t easy, no matter what the apartment complex brochure tried to lead you to believe. Oceanfront, my ass. Still, I could smell the salt in the air. The only thing that could make my terrace more perfect was being able to hear the waves crashing against the shore, but I couldn’t, not even when there was no traffic and I strained to hear.

“You are going to have sex with him, right?” She pointed at my crotch. “It’s not broken, is it?”

“How would it be broken?” I said with a laugh. “And yes, I planned on it.”

I definitely planned on sleeping with Cal when he came out here. I hadn’t done it in Boston because we’d just met, and to me, it had simply been way too soon. But we’d talked every day for almost a month since then, and somehow that made things different. I felt closer to him than I did then, and having sex was something I wanted to do, something I was more prepared for.

“Thank God.” She winked at me. “Wouldn’t want the poor guy flying all the way out here and going home with blue balls.”