Wolf Bonded (Wolfish 1)

Of course, as always here, the sound of howling mixes with the sound of voices.

I have dreams that turn into nightmares and then back again. Some of the dreams try to tease me with enticing half-memories, like Rory leaning over me and kissing my lips. But then they turn sour, and his face becomes contorted with yellow eyes and a jaw that opens and starts to scream with a wild girl’s voice. I dream of raging water. Of tall trees. But mostly, I dream of wolves.

That’s the one thing I seem unable to escape.

Even in dreams.

When I finally wake up and am lucid enough to realize that my fever has broken, I check my phone on the bed next to me and see that it’s already the beginning of the next week. I must have been out for a solid three days.

The screen is flooded with missed calls and unread text messages. So much for trying to keep to myself. My mom must have given the emergency burner number to Jess, because I don’t recognize half the people texting me for gossip under the guise of well-wishes.

I take one quick glance and toss it back onto the mattress without reading any of them.

I hear my mom shuffling around in the living room. From the light that’s streaming through gaps in the window shade, it looks like it’s already sometime mid-morning. It takes me another few minutes to get my mental bearings.

The passing of time has been completely lost on me. I can’t even remember getting up to go eat or go to the bathroom in days, although I’m sure I must have. I do, however, have a vague recollection of being visited by a doctor.

It’s an unsettling memory, really.

I recall opening my eyes to the blurry scene of someone in a white lab coat kneeling next to my mattress and staring at me while a cold stethoscope presses against my chest. That part isn’t the strange part though, the strange part is that I think Romulus was there too, talking to my mom. He’s the only part of the memory that isn’t wrapped in haze. Even in the midst of my fever, I knew something was wrong. He didn’t belong here.

I sit up in bed and wait for the wooziness to pass before I attempt to stand up again. As if sensing I’ve woken, my mom appears in the doorway. Her face looks tired and worried.

“Oh, good, you’re finally awake. You must be starving.”

I nod my head and put my hand against my growling stomach. Starving sounds like just the right word for how I feel right now.

The smell of melting cheese makes me start to salivate as I wait at the little table for her to finish cooking.

“Hey Mom,” I say. “I had some of the weirdest dreams.”

“Yeah honey, that happens when you have a high fever.” She sets the plate and bowl down in front of me, and it takes every bit of my self-control not to shove the entire sandwich in my mouth at once. “You gave us all quite a scare. The doctor thinks you must have picked up strep or something in the river.”

I glance up at her out of the corner of my eye. “About that …”

She holds up a hand to stop me. “I’m not going to say anything. I know I should be angry … but …” here she trails off, and she glances out the window a moment at the pattern of tree leaves outside the window. “It’s good to see you acting like a teenager again.”

Her words don’t mean to sting, but they do a bit.

I drop my gaze back down to the grilled cheese in my hands. Even though my stomach rumbles, I feel my appetite wane.

I know what she means. She means before. When we lived with my father, the same man who’s invisible scars run far deeper than the physical bruises ever did.

I glance up at her, but she’s still not looking at me. I wonder if she regrets it, now, leaving. It hasn’t been easy, sure, but I thought it was still better.

I know it is for me. I always just assumed it is for her too.

“So, anything extra-exciting in your fever dreams?” she asks, seeing my face fall and quickly diverting the subject. I know I’ll have to ask her about all this eventually, but I’m grateful for now.

“Yeah, actually. I had this crazy dream about some creepy doctor, and you, and Romulus, of all people. You were all just standing around my bed when I was asleep.”

I wait for her to laugh and reiterate just how high my fever was, but she doesn’t. Instead, she looks kind of serious and confirms what I was dreading.

“That wasn’t a dream, sweetie. The town doctor and Romulus both came to see you while you were sick.”

Town doctor. Sometimes I forget how tiny this place is.

“What, why?” I set my soup spoon down and look at her more closely.