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Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

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I look and look and look to see if I can find what is making the noise but instead of seeing anything in my dreams, I wake up hungry instead.

12

Sabrina

It’s the last day of the turning ceremony and I feel surprisingly calm. Much calmer than I expected.

The bond between the boys and I, and the act of finally being able to physically join with them, has made the transformation much smoother than I think any of us anticipated. I know for me it has. It’s as if all the uncertainty has melted away, even where Remus and his pack are concerned. Well … almost all the uncertainty.

It would be a lot easier if they weren’t still here. Unfortunately, and of course, he and his pack still are.

Sure, I still know they’re up to something. But somehow, I feel it will still all work out in the end.

Maybe I’m a fool for thinking that, but I’m a happy fool.

Tonight, on the last night of the ceremony, I will have my first shift. I couldn’t be more excited.

After my shift Remus and his pack will eventually have to leave, and with the ceremony finally over, I’ll actually be allowed to settle into this new life. I’m looking forward to that almost as much as I am looking forward to completing my transformation.

There’s just something about having Remus around that brings with it a looming sense of dread … no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise. No matter how much I try to tell myself that maybe Romulus is right.

I find myself alone in the kitchen the morning of my turning.

It’s a strange, foreign feeling now … alone.

I feel as if I haven’t had so much as a moment to myself since the night of the wedding. Not that I mind, exactly. I’ve had all too much experience with alone before.

When I got up this morning, the boys were already gone, which although is a bit unusual for them, I imagine it has something to do with preparations for tonight.

After I quench my thirst and calm my growling stomach, I’ll head out to find them. My appetite has been growing lately, another thing I chalk up to the changes happening in my body. I’ll need energy for tonight.

A juice carafe is already out on the table, still beaded with drops of perspiration, so it looks like the boys can’t have been gone long. I grab a glass and take a big gulp while opening the fridge door, looking to see if I’ll be as lucky with breakfast. Too big of a gulp, apparently, because it makes me choke. I have to stop when I’m doing and sit down for a minute just to catch my breath.

Slow down, I remind myself. I need to stop living as if each moment is a rush to get to the next. As if, at any moment, if I stop moving I’m somehow not going to be able to catch up.

That may have been true when I was a human, but it isn’t anymore.

Or it soon won’t be.

Not now. Not now that I’m one of them.

I sit down for a few minutes to catch my breath and finish my juice, my mind wandering to thoughts of the change that’s taking place within me. Gone are the days of worrying about time. The gift I’ve been given … sometimes, I have to sit and think for a minute just to wrap my head around it. It’s more than the boys, though the gift of them would have been enough.

It’s a whole other life. Several of them.

I could live for half a millennium. Maybe longer, if I’m lucky.

That thought alone is enough to make me dizzy.

Though maybe not as dizzy as I actually feel when I do move to get up from the table. As soon as I stand up, stars erupt in front of my eyes and I have to grab the side of the table to steady myself for a moment.

And then two.

And then more … but the dizziness doesn’t pass. Instead, it’s heightened and I start to feel sick to my stomach.

Something’s wrong.

“Having trouble?” Remus’ voice calls from the doorway.



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