Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

“Of course,” I say, baring my teeth for a moment. “What does Romulus say when he talks to you about what happened?”

She seems slightly taken aback by the question. I’ve always been careful to give her and Romulus space, to not ask too many questions about their private conversations behind closed doors.

It takes her a second to answer, and I know she spends the time carefully choosing her words.

“Only that he is going to do everything he can to make it right, and everything in his power to make his brother pay for what he has done.”

Words too carefully chosen.

16

Sabrina

“You have to promise me that you won’t go doing something that could get you all killed,” I say as the boys and I are all siting on the bed together a couple days later.

My body is starting to feel like a swollen sausage and if I don’t transform soon, I’m afraid I’m going to burst. No one, not even Lydia seems to understand why my body is taking this so hard. On days that I am feeling okay, it’s easier to cover it up. But on days that I feel like crap, it’s impossible not to notice how much my body has been betraying me.

The more the boys seem to notice my worsening condition, the more I worry that they’re getting closer and closer to acting out of rage and grief and doing something foolish like trying to attack Remus head-on. Like I once did.

Just the memory of the day I crossed over into Remus’ territory unbidden to try to convince him to turn a blind eye to my turning … it makes my cheeks flush with color. I was such an idiot. I was lucky to escape that day with my life.

And even then … it cost me everything.

It nearly cost me them. Rory. Marlowe. Kaleb.

As if sensing my thoughts, Marlowe reaches for my hand to take it. I can’t help but notice that even my fingers look swollen in his where they lay across the top of the blankets.

I look between the three of them for a second before repeating my earlier request.

“Rory?” I say, “Can you promise me that at least?”

I know that he can be the most level-headed, but at times he’s also the most reckless. If I can get him to promise me that, at least, then I can feel fairly confident that he’ll keep the other two in line.

But Rory reaches for my hand and takes it from Marlowe, turning over my fingers in the palm of his hand, examining them. I know he sees what I see.

“I’m sorry, Sabrina,” he says, after a few moments. “But we can’t make that promise to you.”

“What? Why not?” I snap, my voice louder than it should be in this close space.

My emotions are strung-out from everything that I’m going through and I find that my temperament lately is unsteady and reactionary at best.

At any given moment I feel the urge to suddenly both burst into tears and scream with frustration. I just want things to go back to being normal, or at least some version of normal-ish. The last thing that I can deal with right now is the thought of the boys putting themselves at risk over me.

They’re literally the only thing that I have left to hold on to.

“What Remus did is inexcusable,” Rory says. “He took away something from you, from all of us, that crosses a very sacred line between our packs. There is no way that we can let this go unpunished.”

He has to stop for a second, and it sounds like his voice has gone dry.

“But—” I start to stammer. I know he’s right, but all that I care about is making sure the three of them stay alive and stay with me. “At least he didn’t kill me.”

Even just saying it sounds small.

“Sabrina, stop,” Kaleb interrupts me, suddenly. He looks as if he is about to burst into furious tears himself.

Kaleb, out of all of them, has always been the most easy-going and brazen. Seeing him so completely distraught since the last day of my turning ceremony has been tearing me apart. Just looking at his face makes me feel like my guts are being torn out.

“Look at yourself,” he says in pained torment. “Look at what Remus has done to you.”