Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

“Thank you,” I say smiling. “So am I.”

After my own fears, my own worries—I really am.

The birth was not the terror I expected it to be. Now all that’s left is to worry about that happens next.

27

Sabrina

By morning, my mind is racing.

There’s only one more day before the full moon and Romulus is more sure than ever now that Remus will attack tomorrow night. He and the boys have been watching, and it looks as though Remus is ready and waiting for the full moon before he strikes. That doesn’t give me much time to decide my next move.

I pace the house to think on my own while the boys and Romulus go out to speak to the other pack members about last minute strategies if it starts to look like all hope is lost. They don’t even try to word it differently now. They don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re all convinced this is a truly losing battle.

Vivian and Lydia are so enchanted by the pups that they were more than willing to agree to watch them for a couple of hours.

I told them that I just needed a bit of rest, but in truth what I needed was time to think.

I walk outside, comfortable in the fact that the pups are in good hands and the boys are busy with preparations for tomorrow’s battle. Under normal circumstances, I imagine I wouldn’t be able to bear being parted with them. Not for a second.

They already grew so quickly inside me, there’s no telling how quickly they’ll grow now. I don’t want to miss one second of them. Not when, just over a month ago, I thought they were a future I would never have.

It isn’t long before I realize that none of the old exhaustion from the past weeks lingers in my bones. My muscles, though soft and atrophied from lack of use, ache instead to be used.

To be pushed.

I pick up the pace, and when I feel no pain, spur myself onward into a jog.

Rather than tiring me, all I feel is exhilaration.

The doctor did come this morning, and though he expressed some surprise at how quickly I’ve healed, I didn’t believe him. No one heals this much in one day after giving birth.

But then again, he did say that something about the turning’s being put on hold causing my sons and daughter to develop at a monumental pace. Maybe the same is true for me. Maybe my body is recovering more quickly for the same reason.

Whatever that reason, I’m not about to question it.

Because for the first time in ages, I feel … free.

My jog turns into a run, not because I’m trying to run away, but because I feel strong. I want to feel this strength running through me. I feel strong and fast and powerful—more powerful than I have ever felt.

With every step that I take, I can feel myself going faster and the wind whipping against my face more furiously. Instead of feeling fatigued, I feel my muscles become more powerful each time my foot hits against the ground. The air that usually burns my lungs after just a short run is now fueling my body with a cooling energy that makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt.

I don’t know what’s happening to me, but it gives me an idea.

The boys and Romulus want me to take the pups away from the fight tomorrow. That’s what their plan is. They’re going to distract Remus and his pack and stand their ground until they fall, just to buy me enough time to get away and get the pups to safety.

They’re hoping the fight will be enough distraction to allow me to finally get away.

But that isn’t what I want to do.

I can’t leave them behind. I won’t.

And even if I could, Remus and his pack would eventually find me and the pups anyway, so all of it will have been for nothing. Remus is never going to let me survive. No matter how we look at it, it always comes back to the same outcome.

With just us, our small pack, against them … the outcome is always the same.

Rory, Marlowe, and Kaleb are as much a part of me now as our children are, and our babies need them as much as I do. With our chances so slim to begin with, I can’t leave them.