Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

“I know that this is a different experience than what most humans have,” she says. “But you are soon to not be human anymore anyway. In our world, the world that you want so desperately to be a part of, you don’t have to choose.”

“What?” I scramble to put the pieces of my aching heart back together, even as I struggle for words. “But I didn’t see that in any of the books. I didn’t …”

Lydia interrupts me.

“There’s much about our culture that’s unwritten. Unspoken. But if what you want is all three of them …”

“Then you can have us,” Marlowe says, finishing her sentiment. His eyes are dewy with tears.

It’s a sparkle that’s not missed in my own eyes.

“Go ahead,” Lydia says, quietly again. “All you have to do is say yes.”

I look at all three of the shifters I love in front of me as Lydia takes her hand off my shoulder and goes to stand next to Romulus.

“Yes,” I say. When I say the word, it feels as though the air in the house vibrates all around us and pulls us even closer still. “A thousand times … yes.”

Rory hugs me first and then I feel Kaleb and Marlowe’s arms wrap around me as well. I can be with all three of them, each of whom holds my heart in a way that I wasn’t ready to let go of. I look over at Romulus and Lydia, who are now standing beside each other with their arms wrapped tightly behind each other’s waists.

I won’t stand in your way.

I know what he means.

It’s time—when I am ready—to be turned.

No more waiting. No more wondering.

This is everything I’d hoped for and more. Not only didn’t I have to choose between the three boys, but Romulus and Lydia actually seem happy that I plan to stay with them all. No amount of studying from the books would help me figure out this strange situation.

I stay at the house for most of the day as we talk excitedly and make plans for the ceremony. It will be small, it has to be small, so that it doesn’t draw the attention of any of the other packs for as long as possible.

There will be hell to pay for bringing me into the pack. Not only will I be married to all three boys, but I will be turned. An abomination for both human and shifter.

But I don’t care.

Romulus and his family are ready and willing to accept the consequences of their actions, but there is no need to advertise it needlessly. The wedding ceremony will include only the boys and I, Romulus and Lydia, a shaman officiant from their pack to perform the ceremony, and maybe one or two close friends.

When Romulus asks if my mother will be coming, I hesitate to answer because I don’t know. I guess I should go tell my mom what’s going on.

But when I go back to the cabin to tell mom the news, I remember she’s gone.

I still haven’t told them, because I still haven’t come to believe it myself.

I allow myself a moment to grieve the image of the mother that I wanted, the one with the soft wings who would carry me far away from any sign of trouble. Then I accept the sour and bitter sting of the truth; my mother will never be that person and I am better off without her.

At least now, even without her, I’ll no longer be alone.

3

S

abrina

When I still insist on staying in the cabin alone for the weeks leading up to the ceremony, the boys protest when I finally get up the courage to tell them the truth about my mother’s abandonment.

They aren’t as shocked about that as they are my refusal to move up into the house right away.

“I don’t understand,” Rory says in frustration after a few attempts to convince me otherwise. “Why don’t you want to stay with us?”