Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

Lydia is masterful with words. She speaks so truthfully and so powerfully, and she’s right.

That always helps, being right.

The moment she’s finished, I can see the look in Romulus’ eyes change. He doesn’t like it, but he’ll agree to it now.

“We’ve never been apart in a fight,” Romulus says as he lifts his hand to press her palm against his jaw.

“We’ve never been in a fight like this before,” she says, smiling sadly at him.

Romulus leans forward and kisses Lydia. I think that they are the strongest and most devoted couple that I have ever seen, and I admire them for it.

I look at the boys who are equally as moved. If Romulus agrees with me, which I know now that he will thanks to Lydia, then the boys will follow his lead, even though they won’t want to.

Romulus turns back to us.

“Don’t say it,” Rory says before his father even opens his mouth. “Don’t tell us that you agree with this. It’s stupid and dangerous and it’ll only put Sabrina in unnecessary risk.”

“Sabrina was put in unnecessary risk the moment that she moved into that cabin,” Romulus says. “You know that as well as I do. I tried to fight it then, I won’t try to fight it now. She’s bound to the three of you too tightly, not even I will stand in the way of that.”

Then Romulus turns to face me.

“You can come,” he says. “And Lydia will take the pups to safety. We’ll do our best to keep you safe during the fight for as long as we can.”

“Thank you,” I say. The boys bristle, making all kinds of frustrated and disgruntled noises next to me. I ignore them.

For now.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he says as he and Lydia get ready to leave the room. “You still need to talk with the boys. We’ll leave you four alone to discuss it.”

“Sabrina this is madness,” Rory says as soon as the four of us are alone. “This is going to make tomorrow even more difficult. None of us are going to be able to concentrate on the fight because we’ll be too busy trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection,” I say stubbornly.

Rory huffs and throws his hands in the air. “Of course you do,” he says. “You have never shifted before. You don’t even know what to expect. You can’t just hop into your wolf body and take off fighting as if you’ve been in that skin your whole life.”

“Why not?” I ask. “You said the human nature and the wolf nature work as one and that it’s not like a separate entity. So why wouldn’t I just be able to feel at home in my wolf skin? I think you’re wrong. I think I have spent three months being ready for this shift and that it’s going to work.”

“Besides,” I add, standing up straighter, “aren’t new shifters more dangerous? You were always going on and on about that before, whenever you talked about how Remus and Romulus fell out in the beginning. Isn’t that going to work to our advantage, this being my first shift?”

“Well that sure as hell is a big gamble to take if you’re wrong,” Rory says, clearly upset.

“But Sabrina,” Kaleb says as he stands right in front of me, so close that our noses are almost touching. “What about our children, our sons and daughter? How can you just hand them over to Lydia instead of wanting to protect them yourself?”

Now it’s my turn to bristle.

“Do you honestly think that I want to hand our children off to someone else, even if it is Lydia? Of course I want to protect them myself, wouldn’t you? The thought of leaving my babies behind to come and fight with you makes me feel like I am dying inside. But I don’t think you understand. Lydia can teach them things I never could. She knows what it is to be a shifter. But it’s more than that …”

I stop talking for a minute to look at all of them. I calm my voice and speak slowly and purposefully so that they truly hear what I am trying to tell them, above all of the panic that is rising in all of our heads.

“I did not become a shifter to spend the next four or five centuries without you. I cannot and will not live without you. We made a promise, and I intend to keep that promise.”

I have to clear my throat. I will not cry. I have to say this.

It has to be said.

And now is the only time to say it.

“We stay together, end of story. I have to help fight. I have to stand beside you and if you think that I’m just doing it because I want to run around as a wolf and prove something childish, then you are way off-base. I’ve given a lot of thought to this. I know what will happen if we lose.”