Writing A Wrong (Write Stuff 2)

"Is it wrong that I'm almost as excited for tomorrow morning as she is?" I whispered over her head since she was still lying in my lap.

Alec grinned. "Excited about the presents Santa is going to bring you? You've been a bit naughty, so you might want to prepare yourself for some coal."

I swatted at him. "You're the naughty one. Not me. Matter of fact, coal might not be enough for you. You deserve a spanking."

"Now you're talking," he said, winking. "That's a gift that keeps on giving."

I snorted loudly. Lily shifted in my lap and I covered my mouth. "You're such a perv. Back on topic. I'm excited to see what she thinks of all her presents. I can't remember the last time I anticipated Christmas morning so much. Is it always like this?"

His flirtatious look turned to warmth as he beamed down at Lily's feet that were resting in his lap. "Each year gets better and better. When she was a baby she didn't get it, obviously. Last year was the first time she made a list for Santa, and the first time we got her to sit on his lap at the mall, but this year she totally gets it. I think that's what makes it so much fun. We get to live vicariously through her excitement." He reached over and laced his fingers through mine.

I smiled at him. "She's going to be so excited," I agreed happily. This was definitely my happy place. The idea that we could have years and years of this same night made me all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside.

The next morning it took a little work and a hot cup of coffee to generate the same level of excitement. Lily woke us at the crack of dawn by jumping up and down on the bed. Her shrieks of joy penetrated my slumber better than any alarm clock.

I yawned widely. "Remind me why we were l

ooking forward to this?"

"No one told you that you needed to stay up late," Alec said, pulling me toward the living room.

I rolled my eyes. "That's right. I should have just rolled over and ignored you."

"Well, there is access from that side too."

"You're such a perv," I said, slapping him on the arm.

"Merry Christmas!" Lily yelled, holding her arms outstretched as we entered the room. She began tearing through her presents even before Alec could sit and help her sort through them. When she finally got to the American Girl doll, I thought she was going to take off like a rocket she was so excited.

Hours later the living room looked like a cyclone had landed. There wasn't an inch of floor to be seen under the wrapping paper, empty boxes, and wrappers. Lily sat happily amongst the mess, putting her doll in the dress that matched the one she was wearing.

Alec and I sat on the sofa, drinking coffee while she played. The moment seemed so domestic and so adult-like. Watching Lily sitting on the floor, my throat began to feel like it was being squeezed. My heart, which just moments ago had felt satisfied, started to beat uncomfortably. Lily was the most precious thing in Alec's life. Hell, she was quickly becoming important to me, but the sudden weight of responsibility felt scary. This wasn't the first time Lily had stayed over, but it was the first time it felt like we were a family unit. A unit I was ill prepared to handle. My parents were equipped in that category. Not me. I was lucky Severus was vocal when it came to reminding me when he needed to be fed or that his cat box needed cleaning out. A child was a completely different story. Could I handle the responsibility of a child's happiness and well-being? Was I really mature enough?

Chapter 5

The week following Christmas was no less chaotic. I spent the time packing and making endless lists for Alec. Even though he said he would take care of Severus, I found myself leaving reminder notes on the fridge, the bathroom mirror, any place I knew he would see them. The plant he bought me officially bit the dust and ended up in the dumpster that morning, so that was one less thing he had to worry about. The sad thing was that tossing it only added to the insecurity I had been feeling the past week. If I couldn't even keep a plant alive, how could I help raise Alec's daughter? For the first time since being given the news, I was almost grateful for my impending trip.

Alec looked at me with concern. "You okay?" We were headed to my mom and dad's house for their annual New Year's Eve party, but I was still stewing over the damn plant.

I shifted the Crockpot on my lap. Alec's world-famous chili, or so he claimed, was inside. "I'm fine." I smiled halfheartedly, wondering if it looked as weak as it felt.

Obviously my smile wasn't masking anything, especially from Alec, who didn't look fooled. "Are you worried about your trip? I'll take care of Severus. Scout's honor," he said, holding up his hand.

"Promise?" I asked, letting him believe he was on the right track. How could I tell him the real reason I was freaking was because I was having cold feet? And we weren't even married. That the trip was coming at a perfect time because I needed some time to gather myself? There was no way he would understand.

"I swear. By the time you get home, that cat and I will be old friends," he said, pulling behind Tony's pickup. Mom and Dad's driveway was packed with cars, forcing us to park in the street.

I juggled the Crockpot with one hand while opening the door of my jeep. Alec rounded the vehicle and plucked it from my hands. "Was I right? Are you just worried about leaving, or is it something else?" he asked, blocking my way.

I nodded, not wanting to open a huge can of worms the night before leaving for two and a half months. I was being silly anyway. It wasn't like Alec had asked me to step in as Lily's mother. She already had Candace. I was probably simply stressing over the trip. Nothing more. "I'm just sad that tomorrow I'll be hundreds and hundreds of miles from you. I'm going to miss you," I said honestly, lacing my fingers through his.

"Ditto, babe." He dropped a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Aren't you supposed to be happy? You're getting rid of the old ball and chain for ten weeks. Shouldn't you be making a list of strip clubs and bars you plan on hitting up?" I asked, pressed against his lips.

"Well, that's a given, but I'll miss you when Severus is waking me up at seven a.m. sprinting through the house like a complete wacko. Seriously though, we'll make it work. Okay?"

"Okay." He was right. Things would work out. I'd survive the trip. My misgivings about sudden parenthood would fade and the burden of responsibility would become tolerable. This was what being an adult was about. I only wish it wasn't happening so quickly.