A Shattered Moment (Fractured Lives 1)

I bit back a groan. Seriously, this guy needed to get a clue. “I just need a little peace, so I can study.” My words were rude, and the tone was harsh.

“Right. Well, like I said, I’m not very good at this whole library studying thing. I’m Bentley, by the way. Bentley James.”

“Mac,” I returned shortly.

“So, what are you studying?”

“Listen, Bentley. It was cool seeing you again. I’m, uh, just not very good around people right now, you know?” I hated being this way, but I wasn’t much of a conversationalist anymore.

“Oh, hey, I get it. I’ll leave you to it then. It’s time I got back to the old grindstone anyway,” he said, holding up an anatomy book that was easily three times as thick as a regular textbook. Oddly, he still didn’t walk away.

An awkward silence stretched between us until finally, after a few seconds that felt like an eternity, he spoke up again. “Okay, I guess I better get busy.” He flashed another smile before walking off.

My eyes followed him now that his back was turned. It was actually the first time I had noticed any of his features below the shoulders. He was taller than me, which wasn’t saying much, but I guessed him to be at least six feet tall. His broad shoulders made him appear even bigger. His face was boyishly cute with warm brown eyes that sparkled like he was keeping a secret he couldn’t wait to share. On the night he rescued me, he had been serious and focused, while today he was laid-back and carefree. Regardless of his mood, he was definitely handsome.

Tracey would say he was hunk-worthy. My breath hitched at the errant thought that had slipped into my mind. My heart thumped erratically in my chest. I clasped my hand against it, trying to ease the ache that was quickly spreading down to my clenching stomach. Pulling my eyes away from Bentley, I forced my mind to go blank. As long as I didn’t think about them, I could make it through another minute, another hour, and maybe another day.

As I worked to pull my thoughts from entering what I called my dark zone, I kept my eyes away from Bentley, blaming him for taking me there in the first place. The idea was irrational, I realized. It’s not like it was his fault we had run into each other on campus. He had as much right to be here as I did. How ironic that in a city with millions of people, I would run into the EMT who had helped save my life.

• • •

graduation night 2013

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” the EMT said, moving to my side as the machines I was hooked to responded to my distress. “You need to calm down.” He adjusted the oxygen mask on my face. “Breathe in slowly,” he coaxed, leaning over to make sure the mask was snug against my cheeks. The panic dispersed slightly as oxygen entered my airway. My lungs inhaled deeply while I looked into my rescuer’s eyes.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise.” His hand gently stroked my head. If the tape on my forehead wasn’t restricting my movement, I would have shaken my head in protest. It would never be okay.

“Trust me,” he murmured, seeing the doubt in my eyes. He continued to stroke my head. His touch worked better at soothing me than the oxygen now pouring into my lungs. I could also feel my head beginning to clear.

With one last sudden jerk of the wheel, the ambulance pulled into the brightly lit emergency bay at Halifax Medical Center. I lost sight of my rescuer after several medical personnel surrounded my stretcher, which was cautiously lifted from the vehicle. I wanted to call out to him. I couldn’t do this by myself.

• • •

I glanced back toward the table to see if he was looking at me. He wasn’t, of course, and I couldn’t blame him. I was pretty much a bitch. After everything he had done for me, I couldn’t muster a thank-you, or any other way to show my appreciation. Instead, I’d basically told him off.

I was unsure of how long Bentley stuck around because I couldn’t bring myself to peek in his direction again. To show any kind of interest would be a misrepresentation of my intentions. I was incapable of functioning as a normal person. Not because of my limp, or even my less-than-perfect smile, but because I was nothing but a shell. Everything inside me died more than a year ago.

The serenity of the library had been replaced by a blanket of painful reminders. As the afternoon bled into evening and the light outside dimmed from twilight to nighttime, the library began to empty. I never looked up as each set of footsteps passed. My headphones and iPad gave the illusion that I was too busy to care. Finally able to breathe normally again, I packed up my bag. Tomorrow, the library would be my sanctuary again. Bentley had mentioned that studying in the library wasn’t his thing. Hopefully, today had been a fluke, and I wouldn’t run into him again.

three

Bentley

I slammed my anatomy book closed a little louder than necessary, earning a curious glance from a long-legged redhead who had been eye flirting with me since she sat down. For a solid hour, I’d been staring at the same damn page in my book without comprehending a single word. My focus was for shit today. I could blame it on trying to study at the library rather than my apartment, but truthfully, the reason for my distraction was sitting in a chair across the room. Not the redhead who was practically begging for me to notice her, but the five-foot-something, sharp-tongued cutie who had basically told me to take a flying leap. She’d introduced herself as Mac. I remembered her name being Mackenzie, but Mac was better. It suited her.

I recognized her the instant she sat in my chair. How could I not? For days following the accident, the media had a field day splashing her and her friends’ faces on every news channel. Maybe that was the reason I found myself so captivated with her at the moment. It definitely wasn’t her winning personality, since she practically had a no trespassing sign hanging from her neck. Being shot down might have bruised my ego any other time, but her “fuck off” attitude intrigued me.

She was not only my first rescue, but now the first person I’d rescued and then bumped into in a normal setting. I remember that night clearly. The guys at the station called me “The Green Pea” because I was new to the job. I was so nervous when the dispatch alarm went off that I launched myself from the chair I was sitting in like I had just heard the starting gun for a hundred-meter dash. The worst part was I tripped over my own feet and fell face-first into my supervisor’s ass. Steve was the lead paramedic and luckily a patient dude. Newbie or not, when we arrived at the scene of the accident, I was thrown right into the thick of things.

The images of their crushed Suburban have stayed with me to this day. When our rescue crew arrived on the scene, I remember assuming there was no way anyone could survive an accident of that magnitude. The one point Steve had hammered into my head that first day was that not everyone can be saved. It was a tough pill all first responders were forced to swallow. I stood like a deer in headlights, staring at the mangled heap of twisted metal. After all my anxiousness for my first call, I suddenly panicked that I wouldn’t be able to hack it as an EMT, let alone continue my education to become a certified paramedic.

“James, get your ass over to the passenger side and check for signs of any survivors!” Steve had yelled, snapping me into action. After that, it was Mac who reminded me of why I’d chosen to become an EMT. That night she needed me. Even with my limited responsibilities, I felt I had helped her that night.

• • •

The redhead working for my attention jerked my thoughts back to the present. She stood up, making a show of stretching out a kink while her tight black Hollister T-shirt rode upward, exposing a taut tanned stomach that she was obviously proud of. She eyed me appraisingly for a moment before sashaying in my direction.

“Hey, you want to get some coffee or maybe a drink?” Her voice had a female huskiness that was sexy and inviting.