Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator (Charlie Bucket 2)

'What did I tell you!' shouted Mr Wonka, triumphant. 'We're safe as sausages in here!'

'He'll have a nasty headache after that,' said Grandpa Joe.

'It's not his head, it's his bottom!' said Charlie. 'Look, there's a big bump coming up on the pointed end where he hit! It's going black and blue!'

And so it was. A purple bruisy bump the size of a small car was appearing on the pointed rear-end of the giant Knid. 'Hello, you dirty great beast!' cried Mr Wonka.

'Hello, you great Knid! Tell us, how do you do?

You're a rather strange colour today.

Tour bottom is purple and lavender blue.

Should it really be looking that way?

Are you not feeling well? Are you going to faint?

Is it something we cannot discuss?

It must be a very unpleasant complaint,

For your backside's as big as a bus!

Let me get you a doctor. I know just the man

For a Knid with a nasty disease.

He's a butcher by trade which is not a bad plan,

And he charges quite reasonable fees.

Ah, here he is now! "Doc, you really are kind

To travel so far into space.

There's your patient, the Knid with the purple behind!

Do you think it's a desperate case?"

"Great heavens above! Ifs no wonder he's pale!"

Said the doc with a horrible grin.

"There's a sort of balloon on the end of his tail!

I must prick it at once with a pin!"

So he got out a thing like an Indian spear,

With feathers all over the top,

And he lunged and he caught the Knid smack in the rear,

But alas, the balloon didn't pop!

Cried the Knid, "What on earth am I going to do

With this painful preposterous lump?