Dirty Beasts

“Quite honestly I can’t pretend

“I’ve ever pulled things from this end.”

He started pulling one by one

And yelling “My, oh my, what fun!”

I shouted “Help!” I shouted “Ow!”

He said, “It’s nearly over now.

“For heaven’s sake, don’t squirm about!

“Here goes! The last one’s coming out!”

The dentist pulled and out it came,

And then I heard the man exclaim,

“Let us now talk about the fees.

“That will be fifty guineas, please.”

My mother is a gutsy bird

And never one to mince a word.

She cried, “By gosh, that’s jolly steep!”

He answered, “No, it’s very cheap.

“My dear woman, can’t you see

“That if it hadn’t been for me

“This child could go another year

“With prickles sticking in her rear.”

So that was that. Oh, what a day!

And what a fuss! But by the way,

I think I know why porcupines

Surround themselves with prickly spines.

It is to stop some silly clown

From squashing them by sitting down.

Don’t copy me. Don’t be a twit.

Be sure you LOOK before you SIT.

The Cow

Please listen while I tell you now