Dirty Beasts

His father bought him right away –

Toy motor-cars, electric trains,

The latest model aeroplanes,

A colour television-set,

A saxophone, a clarinet,

Expensive teddy-bears that talked,

And animals that walked and squawked.

That house contained sufficient toys

To thrill a half a million boys.

(As well as this, young Roy would choose,

Two pairs a week of brand-new shoes.)

And now he stood there shouting, “What

“On earth is there I haven’t got?

“How hard to think of something new!

“The choices are extremely few!”

Then added, as he scratched his ear,

“Hold it! I’ve got a good idea!

“I think the next thing I must get

“Should be a most peculiar pet –

“The kind that no one else has got –

“A giant ANT-EATER! Why not?”

As soon as father heard the news,

He quickly wrote to all the zoos.

“Dear Sirs,” he said, “My dear keepers,

“Do any of you have ant-eaters?”

They answered by return of mail.

“Our ant-eaters are not for sale.”

Undaunted, Roy’s fond parent hurled

More messages across the world.

He said, “I’ll pay you through the nose