In a Holidaze

With a few items checked off our list, Theo stops in front of one of the small shops. “I need to grab a couple of things for my parents.” I follow his attention to a window display filled with fancy cooking gadgets, spice mixes, and kitchen knickknacks.

Honestly, a kitchenware store seems like the last place he should be shopping for Lisa, but just down the block, I see Andrew duck inside a storefront. Without Miles—who’s probably doing some of his own late shopping. My heart grows three times in size. “I’ll just be down there.” I point. “I have some shopping to do, too. Meet me there in twenty?”

If Theo saw his brother go in, he doesn’t let any reaction show. With a little lift of his chin, he urges me to go, and it’s all I can do not to sprint to Andrew.

• • •

The window is lit up with an old feather Christmas tree and an assortment of antique toys. I step inside to a blast of warm air and holiday music, and make my way through aisles of retro electronics and worn furniture, stacks of old records and used kitchenware, searching for Andrew.

I find him in the back of the shop, turning an old record over in his hands to read the song list on the back.

“Hey, you.”

He turns, and when he grins, the world around us briefly glimmers golden.

“Hey.” Glancing around us first, he leans in and gives me a quick kiss. “How’s it going with Theo?”

“It’s fine,” I say, picking up a record out of the box he’s perusing. “A little tense. Not sure why.”

“Probably because you’re sleeping with his brother and he has no idea.”

I glow inside at the casual mention that we’re sleeping together, but guilt shadows the edges. “I feel like I’m lying to him.” And then I remember: “Oh. And Miles knows.”

“Knows we . . . ?” Andrew looks mildly horrified and makes a vague sexual gesture.

Laughing, I say, “I don’t think he knows more than that we were kissing in the pantry.” Off Andrew’s look, I add, “Oh, come on. He’s seventeen, not seven. And he asked me point blank.”

Andrew gives a regretful wince. “Poor Miles.”

“He promised he wouldn’t say anything, but I feel like it’s just a matter of time before everyone figures it out.”

“Especially when I come visit you in Berkeley in a week because I can’t stay away from you.”

I beam up at him. “You what?”

“Maybe?” he says, grinning winningly. “Would that be weird?”

I bite my lip, shaking my head. “I feel like everything is about to change.”

“Yeah?”

“Miles is leaving for college in a few months. I’m going to have to find a new job.” I smile up at him. “Me and you.”

“We could brainstorm the job thing together,” he says. “What are you thinking?”

I shrug, gnawing my lip. “Something artistic. I could freelance graphic design until I figure something out.”

“I could see if there’s anything we need at work,” he says. “Website stuff?” He shrugs, and it’s clear he has no idea how any of that works, but it’s endearing anyway. “I can ask.”

“That would be amazing.” I smile up at him. “I know I should be more nervous about not being employed, but . . .”

But it’s hard to worry when he’s right here. Every time I start to panic—about the time jumps, about my job, about telling my parents any of this—looking at him immediately calms me down. That has to mean something.

Almost as if he knows what I’m thinking, Andrew looks at me, eyes searching. He steps away from the records and turns, cupping the back of my head and pulling me into a kiss. My thoughts go from Oh, this is happening, to Oh, I need this man’s hands on me immediately.

He tilts his head, his tongue brushes mine, and he lets out a quiet, vibrating sound. Everything about the way I hear it and feel it and taste it reminds me how it felt to be totally immersed in him last night. I stretch, wanting to press as tight to him as I can, even though in the back of my mind, I’m scrambling to hold on to the filmy awareness that we’re in public and our families could be anywhere. His hands slide down my waist to my hips, and he pulls them flush to his before he seems to remember where we are, too, and shifts his hands away.

With his thumb brushing the underside of my jaw, he presses one final kiss to my lips and then pulls back, grinning. “Well, that got dirty fast.”

I swallow, feeling warm and definitely unsteady. “You almost just got laid in a souvenir shop.”

Andrew’s eyes flare and then he takes a deep breath, getting some physical distance. “Don’t tempt me.” He goes back to looking through the records. “I need a second to, uh . . .” He exhales slowly.