Her words drop into the confused puddle of my mind, sending slow ripples outward. I've done it. What does that even mean?
"You're through the worst, honey. And you were strong. You stood up for yourself. You stood up for the boys and me. You took care of everything that needed to be done. And you're here, out the other side."
I ease myself out of her arms, slumping back against the sofa that has been my place of happiness these past few months but now feels spoiled. "I'm not on the other side," I say. "Nothing's changed. My dad is still furious. Blake is still furious. Summer is still obsessed with getting Holden. I'm just existing in a place where it's all gone quiet, but it won't stay that way. Everything is going to bubble back up. Over and over. It's never going to go away."
"Yes, it will," Natalie says, her shoulders rising and falling. On her finger, her engagement ring and three-band wedding ring glint in the afternoon sunlight. She has certainty because she's in a very different place, happily married with a family who has accepted her choices and a new family of her own waiting for her at home. "You don't realize how hard we had it when Mom and Conrad found out about us. They were horrified. Mom told me I was ruining her life. Conrad spouted threats that the boys really believed he would carry out. I felt terrible that they were going to lose their inheritance, but they pushed forward with me. They never let me lose sight of where we wanted to be. Everything that felt like a huge barrier eventually went away because people can only fight for so long."
"You think my dad is going to give up? You think that Blake and Summer are going to give up?"
"Yes," she says firmly. "They will because with time, they'll see there is no point in trying to break something that is strong enough to last. And if not, they'll make the decision to walk away. You can't fight something like that, and none of us should live our lives to please someone else. That's just a recipe for lifelong unhappiness."
"I can't make the boys lose their father," I say.
"You're not going to make those boys lose anything," she says. "They forged ahead in opposition to Blake's wishes well before you came storming into their lives. They are their own men, fully capable of making their own decisions."
"If I walk away, they have a chance to be happy with women that their father can accept. I can stand aside and let them follow a different path."
Natalie shakes her head, her mouth folded in. "Don't you get it? They're not going to let you stand aside. You tried that before, and they fought for you. Now they've tasted the life you have together, do you seriously think they're going to allow you to make this self-sacrificing decision? Of course they're not, because they know what's best for all of you, and that is being together."
"But the whole town hates us."
"I don't believe that," Natalie says. "Your friends at work don't hate you. The guys at the station don't hate you. Maybe there are some judgmental people out there, but there always will be. There will always be somebody who doesn't like the cut of your jib, but you can't live your life in fear of their disapproval because they sure as hell won't live in fear of yours."
Running my hands over my face, I exhale long and deep. "Life shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't feel like I'm constantly trudging uphill, boulders rolling into my path."
"Even the easiest relationship is going to face challenges, Connie. That's just how life is. It's how you face those challenges that count, and you do it fiercely and with class!"
Fiercely and with class.
Is that really me? I've spent so much of my life tiptoeing around to please my father, to please my boss, to make my mom happy; God rest her soul. I've tried to avoid ripples, and now I'm making waves. Is that what is making me so uncomfortable?
There's a knock at the door, and both of us look up and then at each other. "I'll get it," Natalie says as I wipe my eyes and straighten my hair.
There's a mumbled conversation at the door, and then Natalie stands aside to let whoever it is outside into the house. Three of the neighbors make their way in. Since I moved in, we've exchanged smiles but nothing further. "We heard everything that happened," a woman in a plaid shirt and long skirt says. "We wanted to come round and make sure that you're okay."
"I'm okay," I say, standing and gazing around. Three faces look back at me, each with their own expression of concern. "It's not been a great week," I say, shaking my head.