The Lilliput Legion (TimeWars 9)

“Okay, so far so good. Now very slowly, stand up.” Finn stood awkwardly.

“Tell those little bastards to stop squirming around,” he said.

“They’ll stop. They’re just as nervous as you are, believe me. Remember, you don’t want to make them too nervous, right?”

“Right,” said Finn, gulping as he felt a tiny gun barrel poke his groin. “Okay, you’re calling the shots. Where do you want to go?’

“Program your disc for New York City, the month of September, 19—”

“Finn!”

“Lucas!”

Lucas Priest had suddenly appeared standing across the clearing from him.

“Who the hell is that?” the Lilliputian leader said in Delaney’s ear.

“Friend of mine,” Delaney said, under his breath.

“Tell him to stay where he is!”

“Finn, for God’s sake, where the hell have you—”

“Stay where you are!” Delaney shouted as Lucas started to come toward him.

“What...” Lucas stopped where he was. “Finn, what is it?”

“Just don’t move!”

Lucas frowned. “All right, I won’t move.” He shut his eyes and fought back a wave of vertigo. “Finn, what’s the matter?”

“I’ve got lilliputians down my pants.”

“You’ve got what?”

“Lilliputians,” said Delaney. “They’re all over me. In my pockets. Inside my clothes. And they’ve got lasers.”

Lucas looked closer and saw that Delaney’s clothes did, indeed, look a little lumpy. And some of the lumps seemed to be moving. He couldn’t help himself. He started chuckling.

“What the hell’s so goddamned funny?” said Delaney.

Lucas burst out laughing.

“Stop that!” shouted Delaney.

“Don’t shout!” said the Lilliputian. “You want to burst my eardrums?”

Lucas found it impossible to keep a straight face.

“Clock out, damn you!” shouted the Lilliputian.

“I don’t think so,” Finn said.

“You don’t think what?” said Lucas.

“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the little pipsqueak sitting on my shoulder—Ow!”

The Lilliputian had slugged him in the ear with his tiny pistol.