Mad About the Boy (Bridget Jones 3)
176lb (oh God), Twitter followers 0.
9.15 p.m. Cannot figure out how to put up photo. Is just empty egg-shaped graphic. Is fine! Can be photo of self before was conceived.
9.45 p.m. Right. Will wait for followers.
9.47 p.m. No followers.
9.50 p.m. Actually will not wait for followers. A watched pot never boils.
10 p.m. Wonder if I’ve got any followers yet.
10.02 p.m. No followers.
10.12 p.m. Still no followers. Humph. Whole point of Twitter is you are supposed to talk to people but there isn’t anyone to talk to.
10.15 p.m. Followers 0. Feel lurching sense of shame and fear: maybe they are all Twittering to each other, and ignoring me because I’m unpopular.
10.16 p.m. Maybe even Twittering to each other about how unpopular I am, behind my back.
10.30 p.m. Great. Not only am I isolated and alone but also, now clearly, unpopular.
Tuesday 24 April 2012
175lb, calories 4827, number of minutes spent fiddling furiously with technological devices 127, number of technological devices managed to get to do anything they were supposed to 0, number of minutes spent doing anything nice apart from eating 4827 calories and fiddling with technological devices 0, number of Twitter followers 0.
7.06 a.m. Just remembered am on Twitter. Feel wildly puffed up! Part of huge social revolution and young. Last night I just didn’t give it enough time! Maybe thousands of followers will have appeared overnight! Millions! I will have gone viral. Cannot wait to see how many followers have come!!
7.10 a.m. Oh.
7.11 a.m. Still no followers.
Wednesday 25 April 2012
178lb, number of times checked for Twitter followers 87, Twitter followers 0, calories 4832 (bad but fault of non-existent Twitter followers).
9.15 p.m. Still no followers. Have eaten the following things:
* 2 chocolate croissants
* 7 Babybel cheeses (but one was half eaten)
* ½ bag of grated mozzarella
* 2 Diet Cokes
* 1.5 leftover sausages from kids’ breakfast
* ½ a McDonald’s cheeseburger from fridge
* 3 Tunnock’s Tea Cakes
* 1 bar Cadbury’s Dairy Milk (large)
Tuesday 1 May 2012
11.45 p.m. Have just been whitelisted by Twitter for checking my followers 150 times in one hour.
Wednesday 2 May 2012