Mad About the Boy (Bridget Jones 3)
2.30 a.m. Me:
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Texts from Leatherjacketman 0.
No reply.
Friday 19 October 2012
Texts from Leatherjacketman 1, encouraging-in-any-way texts from Leatherjacketman 0, words of screenplay written 0.
10 a.m. Leatherjacketman:
Saturday 27 October 2012
No communication from Leatherjacketman.
Sunday 28 October 2012
DO NOT TEXT AT ODD TIMES OF DAY OR NIGHT IN MANNER OF STALKER
5.30 a.m. Maybe will text Leatherjacketman!
One soul reaching out to another, I thought, amid the smouldering remains of the silly old mess we’d accidentally created, like silly billies in the midst of a deep unbreakable connection: Leonardo da Vinci’s Adam reaching out, in that painting, for God’s fingertips.
Friday 2 November 2012
Possibilities of anything ever happening with male of species again 0.
11.30 a.m. Text from Leatherjacketman.
And that was the end of that.
‘ You have to laugh about it,’ said Talitha. ‘Don’t let him have possession of your self-esteem. Or your sexual viability. Or anything.’
Clearly, however, something had to be done.
INTENSIVE DATING STUDY
Night after night, when the children were in bed, I studied, as if for an Open University course on how to get off with people. The children seemed to sense that a great project was in the works, and treated it with appropriate respect. Mabel, when she burst into my bedroom at midnight, clutching Saliva and saying she’d had a nasty dream, would whisper, ‘Exthcuthe me, Mummy, but a giant ant ith eatin’ my ear,’ whilst peeping respectfully from the tangle of hair, at the piles of epic tomes all over the bed. I did of course tweet as I went along, increasing my Twitter followers to a staggering 437.
Bibliography:
I started with my historical archive – the obvious classics from my thirties:
* Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
* Finding the Love You Want
* Letting Love Find You
* What Men Want
* What Men Secretly Want
* What Men Really Want
* What Men Actually Want