Mad About the Boy (Bridget Jones 3)

*Figure out what to do re Roxster mini-break

*Find bank card

*Find Virgin remote

*Find telephone

*Lose 3lb

*Respond to mass emails re Sports Day vegetables

*Find out if still supposed to go to Greenlight meeting tomorrow

*Greek or Roman myth party/photo

*Half-leg and bikini wax in case mini-break still on

*‘Ic’ Suffix Family ‘crest’

*Core Stability

*Fill in form about Billy’s bassoon lessons and take to school

*Find bassoon form

*Toilet light bulb

*Exercise on exercise bike (clearly this is not going to happen)

*Send back Net-a-Porter dress that didn’t wear for Talitha’s party

*Find out why fridge is making that noise

*Find and destroy Mabel’s gonorrhoea leaflets

*Find end scene from draft 12 about scuba-diving

*Teeth

Oh God. All these jobs will not actually fit into an hour, which is now twenty minutes.

OK. Am simply going to do ‘Quadrant Living’ like it says in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and simply arrange the jobs into ‘four quadrants’:

2.45 p.m. You see. Much better!

2.50 p.m. Perhaps will go to the toilet. That is at least one of them.

2.51 p.m. Right, have been to the toilet now.

2.55 p.m. Oooh! Doorbell!

I opened the door, and Rebecca from across the road fell into the hallway, wearing a tiara, mascara smeared under her eyes, staring into space, clutching a list and a polythene bag full of egg sandwiches.

‘Do you want a fag?’ she said, in a strange, other-worldly voice. ‘I can’t go on.’

We went downstairs and slumped, staring into space, sucking on our fags like fishwives.

‘The annual Latin play,’ she said in a strange, disconnected voice.