Lux (The Nocte Trilogy 3)

“Anything?” Sabine asks, and I nod.

“Anything.” My answer is firm.

Sabine nods once more, and light streams in my window, and into my eyes as I open them.

I’m fine for a minute, until I remember.

Finn.

I close my eyes again, and the heavyheavyweight presses on my lungs again, and I can’t breathe, and I don’t want to.

I trudge down the hall to my brother’s room and I stand in front of the door.

I stare at the wood, at the grain, at the indention, at the handle. I don’t want to open it because I know what I’ll find.

But I have to. I have to see it.

Reaching down, I turn the knob.

The door creaks open, revealing what my heart knew I’d find.

An empty room.

The bed is still there, neatly made. Finn’s posters are still on the wall, of Quid Quo Pro and the Cure. His black Converses sit next to the door, like he’s going to wear them again, but he’s not. His dirty laundry is still in his hamper. His books line the shelves. His favorite pillow waits for him, his CDs, his phone. All of it.

But he’s not coming back.

I grab his shoes, his smelly boy shoes and I clutch them to my chest and I sink into his smelly boy bed and I’m numb. I stare at the wall without seeing it, at the posters without registering the faces. I’m wood, I’m stone, I’m brick. I don’t feel. I don’t feel. Nothing can hurt me.

I’m like this for a while, until

Little

By

Little,

Sounds begin to filter into my consciousness, and there’s water. Running water, and I feel dew-like condensation on my skin, and for a second, I’m annoyed because Finn knows to turn on the exhaust fan when he showers, but he always forgets.

Wait.

My head yanks up as Finn’s bathroom door opens and he sticks his wet head out.

“Calla! What are you doing in here? And why do you have my shoes?”

I faint.

Or I think I faint.

When I open my eyes again, Finn is holding my hand.

“Are you ok?” he asks, and his blue eyes are worried.

“Yeah,” I manage to say, once I’m over the shock of being seated next to my dead but now alive brother. “I think so.”

Mybrotherisalive

Mybrotherisalive