I held my hand up to stop her, before she could say something that was going to really make me lose my mind.
“So, what, Red, you expect me to be a kept man. Your boy toy perhaps?” I guess maybe I’d already reached that point.
“That’s not what I’m saying.” She placed her hands on her hips as she glared at me. “You’re twisting everything around. Would it be so hard for you to live here with me, as happy as we’ve both been these past three weeks? I don’t need a roommate either. I don’t pay rent, so why would I expect you to? And I can cover the bills and whatever else. It doesn’t matter to me; it’s just money, TJ. I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult. I like having you here. You like being here. Who cares about the rest of it?”
“I do,” I responded quietly. I knew in my head that she didn’t understand, because she’d never wanted for anything material, but it hurt a bit that she didn’t. I thought she knew me well enough to get where I was coming from.
She shrugged and dropped her hands to her side. The look on her face was tearing me apart, so I walked over and pressed my lips to her forehead gently.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said as I pulled away. I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face so that I could look at her. “I’ll see ya, Red.”
Once I arrived at the little apartment, it didn’t take me long to unpack my meager belongings. I put everything where it belonged and walked through, checking out the place once again. It wasn’t much to look at, but it was mine, and I was happy to be back on the right track.
When my stomach growled, I realized that I needed to go and get some food for the refrigerator and cupboard. I no longer had the variety of items in Sasha’s pantry to choose from. It was time for me to get back to reality.
There was a local grocery store on the corner, so I decided to walk over rather than drive. As I walked through the neighborhood, I saw a group of kids throwing a football in an open field. I smiled, thinking of the times that I got to spend with Cal and Scott growing up. I didn’t always get to hang out and play with them, but the days that I did were some of the best I’d ever had. I hadn’t had a lot of opportunities to be carefree and enjoy being a kid, but my friends had took me into their fold and showed me how.
I picked up the grocer’s ad and scanned it as I walked in, and picked up one of the baskets against the wall. I didn’t have another job with Brock until the next day, and until we got the shop up and running, I was going to have to get used to buying the bare essentials.
I walked the aisles quickly, looking for the items I needed: shampoo/body wash combo, bread, milk, bananas, peanut butter, jelly, a canister of rolled oats, coffee, beans, and hot dogs. I figured that would last me the next couple days.
Bags in hand, I walked the short distance back to my new place, enjoying the gentle breeze and scanning the area for signs of life. It looked to be a nice, quiet neighborhood, with families scattered throughout. All of the cars were middle class, with the exception of one sweet Camaro on the corner, and I thought that maybe we should get some business cards made to start advertising the new shop.
I felt hopeful as I let myself back into my new digs. I wanted to believe that things were looking up, and that I wouldn’t have another setback in my life. I needed to believe it.
After I put away my groceries, I snagged a banana and my book, and settled down on the couch. I looked to my left and felt a twinge that I wouldn’t be hanging out with Sasha tonight. I’d gotten used to spending my evenings with her, and realized that I’d begun to look forward to them.
I was going to miss that.
Chapter 26 – Sasha
I was alone … again. I couldn’t stop the sadness from weighing me down. I’d thought my relationship with TJ was different. I thought he’d be the one to stay. And now that I’d had him here, in my home and in my heart, how was I going to go back to the way things were before? How could so much change in three weeks’ time?
I ignored the banging on my door, instead pulling my blankets up over my head and willing whomever it was to disappear.
“Sasha, open up!” I heard Shelly yelling through the door.
“Ugh!” I threw the blankets off and shuffled to the door, throwing it open just as the banging began again. I turned and walked back to the couch, leaving the door open behind me as I crawled back under the covers.
“Are you okay?” I heard Gaby ask from somewhere above me. I didn’t bother to answer. I was obviously not okay.
“Sash … Can we do anything?” This came from Shelly.
“No!” I bellowed from under the covers. “Just leave me alone.”
“Not gonna happen, sister,” Gaby said sweetly. I grimaced at her and stuck out my tongue, but since my head was buried, the effect was lost on her.
“Yeah, we brought provisions,” Shelly added.
I slowly pushed the cover off of my head and peered out. “Provisions?”
Shelly held up the movie Bridesmaids and a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream, while Gaby held up two bottles of wine.
“I love you guys,” I replied, and to my mortification, I started to cry.
“Oh …” Shelly murmured as she put the stuff on the table and gathered me into her arms. “Did you talk to him?”
“I ... I t-tried,” I managed to say between sobs. “But, he said that he didn’t want to be my roommate, or a ‘kept man,’ whatever that means.”