o he’ll forgive you. Just give him some space, then go explain everything to him. He’s a good man. He’ll forgive you,” she said confidently.
Sasha knew Brock pretty well; he and TJ had gotten close over the years, and I knew she’d been spending time with him since she and TJ became an item. I wanted to believe what she was saying was true, that Brock would forgive me, but I hated the thought of him being hurt by my actions. I should have thought of his feelings, instead of being selfish and only thinking of my own.
I stayed in Sasha’s arms until my tears dried up. I was pushing away from her to say thank you when Shelly came into the room and shut the door behind her.
“I’m so sorry, Gabs,” Shelly said sadly as she joined us on the bed.
I felt my eyes well again at her words, and I stayed silent for a moment as I tried to control my emotions.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I managed when I had my tears in check. “I’m the one who threw myself into this weekend with Scott, without giving Brock a thought.”
Shelly’s hand came to my back and rubbed it soothingly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she insisted. “You and Brock were dating, but you weren’t exclusive.”
“That’s just a technicality,” I replied.
“Stop,” Sasha said sternly. “Shelly’s right, and I’m not going to let you beat yourself up over this. I’m sorry that Brock’s upset, maybe he was more into you than he let on, but that’s not your fault. You were in a casual relationship. You weren’t even having sex for crying out loud.”
I looked at my friends, gauging their sincerity, and felt better at what I saw. Still … I wouldn’t feel right until I cleared the air with Brock.
“I need to talk to him, to make him understand.”
“Give him a couple days,” Shelly said. “He’s hurt and angry right now, so let him work through it. Then, you can explain to him about you and Scott. Not just what happened this weekend, but your history, but you have to prepare yourself for the possibility that Brock may never understand.”
I hated the thought of losing him completely; he was a great guy and an even better friend, but Shelly was right. Considering Brock’s relationship with Scott over the years, and the fact that he’d been pursuing me for a long time before we actually started dating, he might not be able to forgive what he’d witnessed.
“You want to come with us to the grocery store to pick up stuff for the barbecue, or do you want to stay here?” Shelly asked when I’d finally started to breath normally again.
“I’ll stay here,” I said, moving my hand to indicate the bed. I wanted to stay in bed. “I need to be alone for a while.”
“Okay,” Sasha said as they both stood up and looked down at me.
I laid back down and covered myself up, turning on my side and facing the wall.
I heard them walk out of the room, then I heard Shelly say, “She needs to be alone right now. Just give her some time.”
I assumed she was talking to Scott, but I didn’t hear a response to her statement before I heard my door click shut, indicating that I was alone. I pulled the covers up over my head and closed my eyes tightly, eventually falling asleep.
When I woke up some time later, I had a pounding headache and my face felt sticky from the tracks of my tears. I got up and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail at the base of my neck. I could hear the sounds of my friends moving around downstairs, and the strains of the latest Luke Bryan CD floated up the stairs.
I took a deep breath, looked at myself in the mirror, told myself to get a grip, and headed down to join my friends. And Scott. I’m sure he was a little freaked out after everything that happened this morning, and I owed him an explanation for my reaction.
Shelly was cutting up fruit and Sasha was mixing together what looked like a pitcher of Sangria. They looked up when I entered and I mouthed, “Scott” at them, since they wouldn’t have been able to hear me over the music. Shelly pointed the tip of her knife toward the backyard, and I kept on going until I was outside. Cal was at the grill. I scanned the yard and saw that TJ and Scott were playing horseshoes by the side of the house, so I turned my feet that way and headed over to where they were playing.
TJ noticed me first and called out to Scott. When he had his attention, TJ lifted his chin in my direction, causing Scott to turn toward me. When his gaze locked on mine, he dropped his horseshoes and walked over to me.
I stopped and waited.
Scott stopped awkwardly right in front of me, as if he wanted to take me in his arms, but was no longer sure if I’d welcome it.
This made me extremely sad.
This morning everything had felt perfect. Effortless. Now, two men who meant the world to me were affected by my actions.
“Are you okay?” Scott asked, his concern evident.
“No,” I said honestly, my heart lurching when he frowned at my answer. “I feel terrible for the way things played out. The last thing I wanted was for Brock to get hurt.”