Biker's Virgin

“I’ll be seeing you, Zack,” she said. Then she leaned in abruptly and kissed me gently on the cheek before she started off down the hill towards the house.

I watched her go, knowing that she didn’t want me to follow her. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do… I just watched her walk away from me knowing that I might never see her again. It was odd how the world felt shaky underneath my feet all of a sudden. I watched from a distance as Devon came out of the house, followed by the rest of the guys.

I saw Mila give each one a hug. I saw Devon load up the trunk of the car. I saw Mila wave to the boys before getting into the passenger’s seat. She rolled down the window and smiled at the boys. At the last minute, her head turned in my direction, and her eyes found me. I couldn’t see her expression very clearly, and I didn’t really want to. I turned my back on the moving car, but my ears followed the sound until it had vanished into the distance.

Then, I turned back towards the house and just like that… she was gone, and my life had gone back to normal. Except nothing about it felt normal. I certainly didn’t feel normal. In fact, I felt sick to my stomach. For a second, I actually felt the need to throw up. Pushing down the urge, I went down to the house and walked into the living room. The boys were all lounging around, doing different things, but everyone looked up at me at the same moment.

“What?” I demanded, hating the scrutiny.

“Mila just left with Devon,” Red said.

“I know,” I nodded. “She told me she was leaving early.”

“Did she say goodbye to you?” Lonny asked.

“Yes,” I said shortly, trying to get up to my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with their stares.

Bones was leaning against the stairwell, blocking my path.

“Excuse me?” I said. “Would you mind letting me through?”

Bones ignored me. Instead, he shook his head at me in disbelief.

“What?” I demanded angrily.

“You may be our president,” Bones said. “But you’re a fucking idiot.”

I frowned. “What—”

“I can’t believe you let her go,” Bones said before I could finish.

“I…”

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. As I looked around at the rest of the boys, I realized they were all thinking the same thing. I knew that everyone was aware of my strange relationship with Mila, but I had never suspected they realized just how deep it went. It was odd to be standing there, faced with all my men—my brothers—and to know that I hadn’t fooled anyone one bit. I had tried to hide my feelings from Mila and even from myself, but they had seen right through me.

“She wants to go,” I said, by way of a defense.

“Bullshit,” Bones said. “She was looking for a reason to stay. You refused to give her one.”

“She wouldn’t be happy with this life.”

Bones shrugged. “Then the answer is pretty simple, isn’t it?” he said. “Give her the life she will be happy with. That’s the only way you’re going to be happy.”

I stared at Bones for a second, and then everything came together in my head. All my pride fell away, and I realized that he was completely right. I was just being a stubborn fool who was clinging onto to the life I had prepared for. But life had thrown me a curve ball, and now everything had changed. I was no longer going to be happy with my life the way it was before Mila.

Without giving anyone an explanation, I turned around, ran outside, jumped on my bike and sped away from the house. If I rode fast, I would be able to catch up with them. It would only take a couple of minutes. I knew the route that Devon was taking, and I was confident that I’d catch them before they reached the highway.

The whole time, I wondered what Mila would say. Would she be happy or shocked? Would she jump into my arms or would she turn me down with a kiss and a goodbye? I didn’t know, and at the moment, I didn’t care. I just needed to stop them from leaving town. A couple of minutes later, I caught sight of the car down the lonely stretch of road that would take them towards the main roads.

I sped up and caught up with them. Devon saw me first, and his eyes bulged with shock, but he pulled over immediately and jumped out of the car.

“What the fuck man?” he asked. “What happened? Is something wrong?”

A second later, Mila jumped out of the car too, and she looked panicked. “Zack,” she said breathlessly. “Is everything alright?”

I spoke only to her. “No, actually it’s not.”

She ran to me. “What is it?”