Biker's Virgin

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“I didn’t realize it would be you, either, and I can certainly understand if you’d rather see someone else. However, I can also assure you that I will be completely professional about this and am happy to do your exam today if you decide that’s what you’d like to do.”

I didn’t know what to do. I truly had no idea—if I said I wanted to see someone else, that meant I cared what he thought, which was ridiculous because I didn’t even know him. I didn’t want him to think that I was that sort of girl who would run away from an appointment like this just because the person doing it happened to be good-looking. And also, it was still really burning when I went to the bathroom, and I wanted to get a prescription if that was the only way to remedy the situation.

“It’s fine,” I said.

“Are you sure? Do you want Kathy to come back in?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said. What I wanted now was to get this over with as soon as possible.

“Okay, then. Why don’t we do the exam part first, and then if there’s anything you want to talk to me about after, you can. When you’re ready, you can lie back and then scoot your bum close to the edge of the table and put your feet up in the stirrups.”

He went over to the counter and pulled on a pair of gloves. He also turned the faucet on.

I felt almost disembodied, like my mind was not quite tethered to my physical body, which was about to undergo an exam at the hands of Dr. Cole Becker, neighbor of yours truly. This was the only way that I could do this, though. I closed my eyes.

I heard the water turn off, and I was vaguely aware of him settling down on a rolling stool, positioned between my legs. My face burned. Was this actually happening?

“I ran the speculum under warm water, so it shouldn’t be too cold,” he said. “I’m going to put my hand here—” I felt his warm palm on my left inner thigh, “and then you’re going to feel the speculum go in—” The metal was lukewarm against my skin, and the lubricant he must’ve put on speculum was cool and slippery. “Okay, there we go. It’s in.”

I wished he would stop narrating; I didn’t need to know every detail. In fact, if he stopped talking about it, I could allow myself to pretend that I was somewhere else completely.

“I’m going to just take a sample now,” he said, “and then we’ll be all done with this part of it. How are you doing?”

“Just fine!” I said, my voice a little too bright.

I hummed a song in my head and felt a strange poking sensation inside of me. “All set,” he said. “And now I’m going to take the speculum out. There we go. You can take your feet out of the stirrups and slide back, but stay lying down.”

“Oh,” I said, as I pulled my legs out. “We’re not done yet?”

“I just need to do a breast exam, and then we’ll be done and you can get dressed.”

Great, the humiliations continued. “Just put your arm above your head, good, just like that.” As I lifted my arm, the stupid paper dressing gown fell open, and there I was, completely exposed, though feeling bashful about that was ridiculous considering he’d just been poking around in my vagina.

I stared at a spot on the ceiling while he kneaded his fingers into one breast, then the other. Both times, my nipples got hard, even though the room was fairly warm. I hoped that he didn’t notice, or if he did, that it was a normal sort of occurrence. If I hadn’t been so mortified by the entire scenario, I might have been able to acknowledge the fact that the whole thing was a bit arousing.

And then finally, mercifully, it was over. He closed the gown over me, and I sat up, clasping it around me.

“So do you have any concerns or anything you’d like to talk about?” he asked.

“Um... it kind of burns when I go to the bathroom.”

“How long has that been going on for?”

“A little while now.”

“Any other symptoms?”

I tried to remember. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you feel like you need to urinate more than normal?”

“Um... no, I wouldn’t say so.”

“Any pain or feelings of discomfort in your back or lower abdomen?”

“No.”